Tag Archives: three resolutions

Here we go again? GREAT!!

23 Wednesday Sep 2020

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What have you achieved during the ‘first’ COVID Lockdown period?

How you define ‘achievements’ in the question I leave up to you. You may choose work-related successes, which will include how you adapted your working practices to address the restrictions and the (yuk) New Normal; you can list any charity or community efforts you undertook; you can rattle through the personal development you made.

Or.

You can consider the lack of initiative you might have displayed in any or all of those areas. You can now consider what you could have done. You can think ‘I could’ve’ (not could OF) and ‘I should’ve’ and ‘I might’ve’. And you can wallow in the self-pity that ensues if you did nothing to take advantage of the developmental opportunity that this pause could have provided.

But GREAT NEWS!

In my area, several local authorities have been re-locked down. (In fact, Cardiff is technically under siege as it is surrounded by locked down unitary authorities.) There are constant rumours, even expectations that another national lockdown is a-coming our way. A second pause-button that you can press and decide ‘What can I do in this period of change?’

I’m lucky. I have no formal occupation other than writing and blogging so I had massive amounts of discretionary time. Oddly, I still have a 9-5 mentality and regularly ‘pack in’ at tea-time. Weird.

But in the period since March I have:

  • Lost 35lbs.
  • Increased my cycling – time and distances travelled.
  • Attended umpteen free webinars to stay on top of my game.
  • Sorted out some home-environments.
  • Written The Way.
  • Edited Three Resolutions. (Okay, I finished that just before it started but it needed a proof read.)
  • Rewritten Police Time Management (still doing that).
  • Had two mini-breaks with the extended family during the eased-off hiatus in the Pandemic Panic.
  • Refocused my mind.

And here we find ourselves at the cusp of another, allegedly 6-month lockdown opportunity.

The Three Resolutions ‘commitments’ provide a framework for consideration of exactly what you can do to take advantage of the gap. You can reinforce your self-discipline by choosing to eat less and exercise more. You can redefine your personal values and your congruence or incongruence in terms of how you behave in their respect. You can learn new stuff, or you can study the old stuff you need to know in order to do an excellent job. You can revisit your sense of Purpose and decide if what you are doing is right for you, while simultaneously considering what service, or what better service you can provide to others – either through work or in a voluntary capacity.

Or you can just accept the entropy that doing nothing engenders. You can actively pursue the self-redundancy that ‘just doing enough’ causes.

Which is the right choice? You KNOW it.

Now DO it.

Why I write what I write.

28 Tuesday Jul 2020

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“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” Louise May Alcott

I sat in my chair this morning, wondering whether the books that I write will ever receive the attention and interest that I desire – all writers want to be a ‘success’ – and then I read the above paragraph and realised that success or not, writing my books is personally rewarding and informative.

When we write, there is a lot ourselves in the result. And not necessarily the ‘us’ that existed when we set out to create, but the ‘us’ that we became as we went through the process of researching, drafting, refining and finalising what was finally put into the public domain. I know from my own crafting of The Three Resolutions that I have become more disciplined, congruent, competent and other-people centred than I was when I began exploring the concepts.

Zig Ziglar felt the same when he wrote ‘See You At The Top’. He tells in its pages of how he weighed several dozen pounds more than a personal development speaker and writer ought to, and part of the writing process was to slim down and get fitter so as to be seen to be what he professed he ought. Yes. I did that, too. Think of me as the less fundamentalist equivalent of that ex-smoker who evangelises at anyone who lights up.

So while I would welcome some interest in my philosophical and practical musings on self-leadership, and my experienced and researched counsel on time management for police colleagues, I haven’t in any sense failed just because I’m not as famous as Stephen Covey and David Allen.

I won’t achieve their levels of success and brilliance. But I can aspire, like Alcott, to do my best to apply what I have learned and about what I have written. If only because of my firm belief that what I learned – about the principles and about myself – make the whole effort worthwhile.

What are you doing to get even better than you are?

Available HERE

Serve – but don’t be selfish.

05 Thursday Mar 2020

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“The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.” Duguet.

Having done time management to death for a wee while, I am reverting to promotion of the effective tenets of The Three Resolutions as I have reviewed, amended, added to and then re-published the book of the same name, available in paperback or Kindle.

The Three Resolutions propose that there are three commitments an individual can make in an effort to live a principled life. Those three commitments build upon each other, and while some may say they are common sense my response would be that ‘common sense is not common practice’, which is not me being clever, it was Stephen Covey who said it to me first.

Others may look at the subject matter and contents page and say, “I’m doing that already.” I know. Lots of people on LinkedIn are ‘doing’ a lot of that stuff. But I bet they aren’t doing it all, any more than I am. Yes, folks, I hereby acknowledge the imperfection in my dedication to applied common sense.

Ultimately, and without going through the whole Three Resolutions process, the end objective of the The Three Resolutions commitment is service to others, hence my quote. If i was to ask you the names of people who dedicate themselves to the service of others I am positive you would identify many a celebrity or other ‘name’ who clearly do serve in a charitable fashion.

But when I talk of service to others I am not focused solely on people who get great public acknowledgment (and publicity) for their efforts. I also mean the old lady in the charity shop: the man on a motorbike delivering blood: the lollipop man or woman interrupting their day to keep children safe: the administrator whose accurate records and good memory detects a murder (did happen): and many more unsung providers of service to others.

I’m often amused how someone at the top of their game being paid many thousands of pounds gets a medal for their service to their profession when the lower ranks who work harder, physically, get diddly squat. Their service is just as, if not arguably more, valuable than the knight’s.

The principle, for me, is this – service provided, whether for payment or for free, is service. There are no levels of superiority of service. However, there are services provided purely out of self-interest that I do NOT consider to be service at all. There is no harm in application of a ‘What’s In It For Me’ approach, because the answer could merely be ‘It’s the right thing to do and in keeping with my values system’, but when the question is asked and answered wholly in a ‘if there’s not enough in it for me I’m not interested’ manner – service it ain’t.

Going above and beyond the call, is service. Being paid for and doing a good, professional job, is service. Anything done completely out of self-interest, is not.

That is selfishness.

It’s just occasionally annoying how selfish people get rewarded, but they never said life is fair.

To paraphrase Mother Teresa, “Life is sometimes unrewarding: serve anyway.”

What will you do today, to serve?

 

For more on the subject, buy m’book on Kindle or hardcopy through the above links.

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Juggling is for Jugglers.

14 Tuesday Jan 2020

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In 2006, I attended The Seven Habits Workshop run by FranklinCovey in the UK, at their then HQ in Banbury, Oxfordshire. It was facilitated by the skilled coach Stephen Smith who, like me, looked a lot younger in those days.

During a ‘Why are you here’ session, Stephen asked the hitherto reluctant, waiting-to-see-how-the-land-lies participants “Well, do you want to improve your work-life balance?” As one might expect, we chorused in a fashion designed to at least give the impression of enthusiasm, “YES!”

“Okay then, let’s see just how much more work we can get out of you, then.,” said a smirking, ‘I-knew-you-were-going-to-fall-for-it’ Steve.

Very few people want to skew their work-life balance in favour of the former. Which is odd, really, because so many people do unconsciously skew their lives that way.

I know people who work every hour God sends in an effort to maximise income, only to swear blind that their ‘family comes first’. Which is not to say that they’re lying, just that what they are doing (working) may not be what they think they’re doing (providing a secure lifestyle for their family).

And I say that because I wonder if they’ve asked their families do they want mummy/daddy working for mo’ money – or do they want mummy and daddy present.

(I suppose teenagers may provide a different answer, depending on the level of gadgets they have or want.)

I believe, as do many in the ‘family field’, that what families need more than anything else, is presence. They want Ma or Pa to ‘be there’ at school concerts, recitals, sports events – and above all to be waiting when they need picking up. Selfish, really. But that’s what kids want.

Go home, be present. At least sometimes.

On another tack, in terms of the balance between work and ‘life’, since Steve regaled us on the matter the world has changed to the degree that the lines between work and ‘life’ have blurred. We are, thanks to the smartphone, available to work when at home, and home when at work. Few think about the appropriateness of crossing the divide. Most think it’s alright to interrupt people when they want, because they can. You may notice that phenomenon when you’re chatting to A and B butts in without an ‘excuse me’, because the smartphone has legitimised interruption.

Of course, in terms of the aforementioned work-life balance ‘thing’, when either interrupts the other our eye is taken off the ball in the moment. Concentration wanders, mistakes are possible, disaster can occur.

As far as possible, and in recognition that I use the word ‘appropriateness’ in this article, try to keep communication under the right heading. Work for work time, life for life-time, at least as much as you can manage. It’s the most productive approach to ‘The Balance’. It means you can get work done without thinking about cooking dinner, and it means putting the right amount of salt and butter into the mashed potato without wondering if that report you submitted is in the right post-tray.

Damn – now I’m hungry………………

 

For more, read this book!

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Will Shakespeare, Personal Development Trainer.

17 Saturday Mar 2018

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“We are oft to blame in this – ‘tis too much proved – that with devotion’s visage and pious action we do sugar o’er the devil himself.” Bill Shakespeare.

Why is it that when a politician or celebrity ‘fails’, two things happen? First of all, the level of ‘shock’ and ‘fury’ (favourite press words) is influenced by whether we love them, or we don’t. David Beckham cocks up, we are sorry for the poor, vulnerable love. Piers Morgan does the same thing, and everyone goes into hate mode. OK, ‘more hate’ mode.

In either case, ‘we’ point and pontificate, and the epithet “Look what s/he did!” emerges from our mouths. The same accusatory verbiage that emits from our lips when a colleague offends us in some small way. And in the same way, our willingness to forgive the transgression depends on whether or not we like that individual.

In other words, whether we consider them to be people of generally good character, or not.

My reading of Bill’s statement is this; that as long as we live and act in accordance with principles, and in doing so create in ourselves a person of good character (Third Resolution), then others are able to gloss over any temporary failure. It is easy to forgive those we respect and love when the oops isn’t too great.

But there is an insidious counter-thought expressed by some – and we’ve probably all done it at one time or another – and that is the belief that ‘if Mr Perfect or Miss Proper can do that, then so can I’.

Instead of looking at the behaviour, decrying it and (maybe) forgiving the formerly respected offender, we conclude that imperfection is now permissible, even desirable, and drop our own standards accordingly. It is the same psychology people used to start smoking ‘because James Bond did it’ or taking half-naked selfies because Kim and Kylie do it ‘in the name of empowering women’ (while F1 and other sports adopt the exact opposite view. Go figure.).

Many people like to bring others down to their level rather than put the work in to raise their own standards. In my book The Three Resolutions I wrote of a colleague who spent a great deal of time assassinating characters while always making sure that the holder of said character was absent, but never to their faces. My response in the event that he, or someone like him, attacked me like that was, “Are you trying to raise your self-esteem by lowering mine, because that will never work?”

Oh, and if it wasn’t me he was attacking in the subject’s absence, I’d shout to all present “Is X not here today, then?” Eventually, said colleague took the hint!

If someone else fails, it is never an excuse or justification to lower our own standards. We should try to be what we want to be, as much as we can. It’s a struggle, but it’s worth it. It is easier to forgive – and be forgiven – if we can do that, or even if we are seen to be trying to do that.

Go on. Be the best you think you can be.

It’s the foundation of greatness.

Be the You that you were meant to be. REFINE.

25 Sunday Sep 2016

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“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” Michelangelo

Observant readers would have seen that I have changed the top of the page to better reflect the objectives of The Three Resolutions in three words. The ‘new’ R-word that reflect The Second Resolution is Refinement.

Please don’t think I am going to promote or counsel the adoption of better speech, tidier dress and the lifting of the little finger when taking tea, even if adoption of the first two of those suggestions wouldn’t please me. If you want to be scruffy and sound like a half-wit, good for you.

I am writing about, and proposing the adoption of a focus on making your own behaviour more closely match the behaviours that you believe reflect the ‘best you’ that you can possibly be. The Second Resolution covered this in using the words ‘To overcome the restraining forces of pride and pretension I resolve to work on character and competence’.

Refinement is the physical manifestation of the metaphor used by Michelangelo. It’s about chipping away at those things – habits, characteristics, emotions and activities – that don’t serve us or which get in our way.

Having decided (Resolved) where you aren’t behaving the way you know you should, Refinement means identifying and adopting the behaviours, values, etc. that you know will serve you much better.

Emphasise – YOUR behaviours, values, etc. – not mine.

That said, people of good character will, in the main, all behave in much the same way as each other. Their speech patterns and dress may be different but they will be honest, congruent, dedicated and just plain ‘good people’. Their values will be similar even if their way of executing on them may change.

BUT don’t be scruffy and tell me you’re rebelling. (Have you noticed how anarchists all dress the same?) Don’t say ‘actually’ and ‘obviously’ and ‘like’ every second word and then deny that you’re allowing yourself to be subject to environmental determinism. (Or use the new opening word that appears to have replaced ‘Yeah, I mean’, – the insidious viral term ‘So’.)

When you do those things you are no longer in charge of you. You’re not living. No. YOU’RE BEING LIVED. You are allowing outside influences to subliminally dictate your behaviours for you.

Refinement means YOU decide what characteristics you want to possess or demonstrate – and then chipping away at the marble until the real, self-designed you finally appears.

It isn’t easy. Right now I am battling with a constant desire to pick at food when I should be losing weight. (See my weight loss plan, below!)

But in the final analysis you can only say ‘I am who I intend to be’ when you have refined yourself enough to be exactly that. Until then, resolve to (re)design yourself – and then get to it!

weight

Good start….

 

Education, schmeducation. Focus on quality, not quantity.

04 Sunday Sep 2016

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“Knowledge will bring you the opportunity to make a difference.” – Claire Fagan

I love that advert for a major stationer, where Andy Williams sings ‘It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ as parents escort their children around aisles teeming with paper, pens, books and other essential tools of learning. After 6 weeks (or 104 days in the US, according to the theme from ‘Phineas and Ferb’), parents have had enough of dealing with their first priority – family – and now want to pass babysitting duty back to their kids’ teachers. Tomorrow (subject to one of those Teacher Training Days that always appear to occur just after a week off), millions of kids will excitedly don their school clothes and trot quickly off to school.

That enthusiasm lasts 24 hours, by the way.

On a serious note, just as for us goal-achievement-failures who start a new project every New Year/Birthday/1st of the month/end of term/start of term, tomorrow is a great day to start teaching your children not only that education is important, but also that not all education is important. (Eh?)

We, as parents, have tendency to demand that our children excel in every single subject they study. If they have eight As and two Cs, we demand to know why they are failing in RE and Drama. The strange thing is that the reality of the UK education system is that we take 12-14 subjects at 16, and narrow that down to 3 or 4 at 18 – then down to one, or for the particularly clever, two subjects at University.

There is no question that we should encourage our kids to do their best in everything they do. But we should allow them the leeway that we allow ourselves and acknowledge that Einstein probably wasn’t a great biologist, Sir David Attenborough isn’t famous for being an expert on woodwork, and David Beckham is not the greatest English scholar ever known to man.

And our kids will generally be great at one or two things, good at some more, and rubbish at others.

They should, as early as possible, be encouraged to discover their strengths and to focus on those, while also managing any weaknesses and finding ways to deal with them.

I was absolutely overjoyed many years ago when my son, who was at the time an undiagnosed dyslexic, was asked to read something out at the primary school ‘graduation’, another American import to the UK we could do without. Did he read it? No. He learned it, and spoke without reference to the card in front of him. Word perfect. He can read, but at his own speed. He has since qualified in a field he loves – farming (not hereditary, I assure you) and is an absolute star mimic. He is happy.

But imagine the potential for someone who can learn quotes by rote and then has to speak in public. He is already well ahead when it comes to learning Public Speaking, something a lot of people dread and yet something they will all have to do at some time in their lives. He has a self-taught life skill because of a challenge.

At the same time, I am also the proud uncle of some kids who have done exceptionally well in their exams, this year. Learning suits some, but not every talent is necessarily served by the state’s syllabus.

Encourage your kids to learn well, to do the best they can, but to focus more of their time on the things that will matter to them. Utilise the Three Resolutions to instil within them the discipline to do what needs to be done to become competent in their chosen vocations so that they can serve their chosen clients to the best of their ability.

Instead of creating well-educated but exceptionally bored professional drones.

For more on the Three Resolutions, get the book at Amazon here.

3R Book

Purpose – and process.

09 Tuesday Aug 2016

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Interim blog this week, just to keep you all refreshed.

The company that owns the intellectual property rights to The Seven Habits®, FranklinCovey, currently utilises an interesting diagram to illustrate a ‘process’ through which people can come to properly apply the 7 Habits Principles in their circumstances.

That diagram is this:

7H Egg

(Copyright © 2016 FranklinCovey, Inc)

I absolutely endorse and believe in the process that this diagram so beautifully illustrates, and suggest that whatever life philosophy you choose – and I recommend the 7 Habits® as a great one, and the Three Resolutions® as a viable alternative – this process is the method you should use to properly adopt that ‘new way’.

First, as with any philosophy or plan, you have to truly decide, genuinely and freely commit to whatever you have elected to apply. Without that commitment there will be no success, only something you can ‘talk’ about but which you don’t walk. (Yes, I know………)

Then, apply Jack Canfield’s Principle ‘Act As If’, and start to model fully what it is you tell others you ‘are’. This is where integrity is born. This is where, even if you wander off the chosen path, you recognise that there is a path and you want to be walking along it. You ‘do’ what you have elected and promised to do, even if while doing it you feel as though there is a secret, internally felt element of pretence about what you are doing. You “fake it ‘til you make it”, but you do so specifically in order to make it, not to just seem to be making it. If that makes sense. (It does to me.)

That Modelling of your ideal ‘you’ is then reinforced until you are no longer faking it – you are doing it, you are doing it consistently, and people around you can see just how committed you are. In fact, they might not see it because they have accepted that it IS you. There is no change evident – you have arrived, so to speak.

But nothing happens without first making that commitment, so the advice I give in my book The Three Resolutions remains valid – do not commit until you are truly willing to put everything into your performance of your adopted philosophy.

And once you have done that – remember the above illustration.

 

If you haven’t done so yet, please visit Amazon HERE and ‘Look Inside’ to see more about The Three Resolutions and how it might change your life on your own, better terms.

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Three Resolutions – and why someone else’s political decision doesn’t make them an idiot.

06 Sunday Mar 2016

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“Fear – false evidence appearing real.” Tony Robbins. Among others.

One of the most popular news stories at the moment (in Britain) is the forthcoming EU Referendum, where the populace will be asked whether or not they wish to remain part of the European Union. For those not in the loop, the UK joined the ‘European Economic Community’ in 1973. I was 11. My recollection was that we were joining what was actually termed The Common Market, and the objective was free trade and improved economic relationship. It was not, in my own memory, about the creation of an arguably undemocratic, powerful and authoritative quasi-state which dictated rules and laws on its members. But that is what it became. (I think I may have tipped my hand…..)

One of the major talking points in the In-Out Campaign is the apparent, reported focus by the ‘In’ crowd on raising the spectres of what might/will happen if we leave, which appears to include everything short of war (which the Brits would win because the French would surrender and the Germans would trip over their mullets and we’d bribe the Italians). Every ‘In’ story appears to focus on the negatives of leaving rather than on the positives of staying. The campaign motto seems to be “Frighten the population into opposing change.” If I looked I’m sure I’d see examples of the ‘Out’ Team using fear as well.

Either of which is a betrayal of a belief in people to cope with, face and overcome the unknown. In life, as in this referendum, there are imponderables. We may have authoritative information upon which to make any life decision, we may have beliefs and values that point us, by default or through design, in a certain direction. But ultimately, principles govern and what will be will be. What happens will be the consequence of principles, which in turn will be affected by all sorts of events, most of which we cannot anticipate. Who expected the Tsunami, 9/11, the US earthquakes, and so on? We coped because we had to, and because we also had the benefit of principles that had guided us through disasters before.

Bad example, in a way. Hopefully any exit from (or remaining in) the EU will NOT be a disaster.

But one thing is certain – if we remain through fear, we will continue complaining about the things which dismay us as a country now. If we remain it must be because it is the better option.

We must face the fear that remaining will cause increased integration despite our misgivings. Whatever rules the super-state chooses to impose will be legally enforceable. We do know that it makes our rules and if we remain then rules we don’t anticipate may come into being.

We must face the fear that leaving may have trade implications (can’t see how, most salesmen sell to ANYONE who will buy, and any trade embargo on a democratic state would arguably breach international law but maybe I’m being naïve).

One principle remains true. Whatever happens, there will be consequences (as French chief Francois Hollande put it in his own efforts to frighten us). There will be those consequences we consider ‘good’, and I’m sure there will be those we consider ‘bad’. Whichever ‘side’ you take.

Although if we choose to overcome fear as the false evidence it so often is, I’m sure that the ‘bad’ will be addressed, solutions found, action taken and the ‘bad’ turned into opportunity. And to be frank, nothing changes without facing fear.

Therefore, cards on the table. I’m for ‘Out’ just to see what challenges – and opportunities – result. I will use the Three Resolutions to obey principles, act in accordance with my personal mission statement, continue seeking to be a person of good character and as professional as I can, and to serve those in my circle of influence. No super state can stop me doing that if that is how I choose to live, and no challenge will defeat me if we leave. I will continue to be who I am, wherever and whenever that may be. But the same applies if we remain.

Stephen Covey suggested in the Seven Habits that having an unchangeable core – in this case a personal mission statement – enables us to cope with whatever changes occur around us.

If you think like that, perhaps you’ll also be willing to accept the decisions that don’t go your way, instead of calling the ‘other side’ names for not agreeing with you? For the simple reason that no decision made by others can present any meaningful change on the self-made rules that tell you the way to live YOUR life.

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Three Resolutions – available at Amazon HERE in paperback, or HERE for Kindle.

 

The easiest thing to make in the world. Excuses. I claim patent……

22 Monday Feb 2016

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It’s been one of those days. I had a plan, and I intended to keep to it. Then something ‘important and urgent’ came up, which justified the distracted attention that it received. Not to mention the urgent, new email thread that warranted immediate responses.

But then all those other things that were waiting for my focus started shouting at me, including responsibility for walking the dog I dearly love, which I didn’t want, and which I bought for the son who has now got full time work and studies.

Once that was done it really felt that the working day was over. I still had some things left on my ‘to do list’ – and the fresh, new recipe, updated and richly wrapped packet of ‘Excuso’ was nearly opened. I considered three helpings:

“There are only 8 hours left before bedtime and I need to rest.”

“That task can wait for tomorrow – it’ll still get completed ‘just in time’.”

“Another day without exercising won’t matter all that much, will it?”

Thank goodness for the ever-present, “in my planner, on my phone, secured to my wrist and wrapped around my neck” reminders that I have a Personal Mission Statement, one that requires and urges action towards completion those self-designed, values-driven responsibilities that I placed on myself.

I may never get everything done that needs to be done. But I am a lot closer to coming through on the commitments I make to myself (and often to others) because of that document, a document to which I regularly discover myself referring.

This week it even surprised me. I had a commitment to run, in keeping with my Running Programme. Owing to injury I have had to ease back to a level lower than that at which I ran the Baker2Vegas Relay (nearly 12 months ago!), and the programme said ’20 minutes’. That day I reviewed the PMS and came up with the new Latin heading and tagline you would now see on this page, as a result of which I popped out and ran 4.5 miles/40 minutes. Double the intention. And I did the same the next day, which was supposed to be a rest day.

The Personal Mission Statement. A document which occasionally inspires, always instructs, and occasionally brow-beats.

Whatever works.

It’s about time you had one, don’t you think?

For advice on how to write your PMS, buy The Three Resolutions at Amazon.

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