Tag Archives: Stephen R Covey”

Values-based Time Management Means Achieving the BEST Goals.

19 Sunday Feb 2017

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“If a goal isn’t connected to a deep ‘why,’ it may be good but it usually isn’t best.” Stephen Covey

I hereby truly and solemnly declare and affirm that I want to run a marathon.

That is a true statement. Deep down I want to be able to say that I ran a marathon, that I did it in less than 4 hours, and here’s my medal on display in the cabinet with my bronze swimming certificate.*

Yes, as far as running a marathon is concerned, I really want to run one. But I am not prepared to make the effort.

The reason I am not prepared to is because such a goal is often a dream that is planted by the achievements of others, by a desire to demonstrate a high level of physical fitness when such a level is not necessary for achievement of any of my other goals, and ultimately by ego – I want to brag about it.

Let me emphasise – they would be MY motives, and if you want to do a marathon for truly personal, deeply emotional reasons you go ahead and do it, and good luck. I am not here to tread on your dreams.

The point I am making is that achieving someone else’s goals, or seeking achievement for reasons of ego, probably won’t result in the deep happiness that comes from achievement pursued for truly personal, deeply impassioned motives. On the other hand, if achieving those goals is a means to a better end and not ends in themselves, the passion for those longer-term outcomes will help you achieve the smaller steps on the road to that greater success, the success you really seek. And let’s face it, you’ll be fitter and better able to enjoy that success (provided you haven’t crocked yourself in the process). And the greater success will be the one that serves your values system.

Seeing the goal as something which serves your values is the essence of values-based time management. Selecting a goal that doesn’t dovetail your values system is futile – you won’t do it, or you will detest every moment spent in striving for it, and UN-happiness is not a normal pursuit, is it? (Masochists excepted.)

I suspect that a 10k running ability is ample for most of us who don’t enjoy sport for sport’s sake. If you can run 6 miles in an hour and have a sensible diet you’ll be fit enough for most professions. If you want to get fit enough to achieve your other goals, decide on a sensible level of fitness, pursue that, and spend the rest of the time on the actual objective.

Spend as much of your time as you can on getting the result you seek, and a sensible-but-lesser proportion of time on the ‘side-issues’ that serve that objective. Plan your time so that you maximise the likelihood of achieving the (your) Main Thing, without spending too much time on achieving side-goals that will serve the greater objective but aren’t goals in themselves.

It’s a fine balancing act and using a suitable, personal planning system will help. In that, you put your Mission and Goals to the fore, and plan to spend as much of your time not on ‘shoulds’ or ‘coulds’, but on MUSTS. The other two can be fitted in around them.

And be careful that those ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’ don’t become excuses for procrastination! (Next week’s subject.)

*I don’t have one of those, either. I am not a fish and if I am going two miles on water, I know people with boats.

 

For more on Values-Based Time Management, go here, or go to the Books page on this site

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People don’t like being told what to think. Think for yourself.

13 Sunday Nov 2016

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.” Stephen R Covey

Despite the uninformed dismissiveness of friends and foe I have, for the past 20-odd years, been an advocate of the 7 Habits ‘philosophy’ – not a good word but it’s short. People who deride the awfully-named ‘self-help’ genre and therefore who have never taken a moment to understand it, suggest that the field, and the 7 Habits book in particular, have the intention of restricting my (their) thinking. Of course, some fields like Scientology and cults do just that, but the essential difference between what my friends think and the actuality is this: the 7 Habits do not in any way tell you what to think. What it does is tell you is that you can think, and provides a framework you can apply to thinking. But what you think is entirely up to you.

I write this week’s blog following the election of The Donald to the Presidency of the USA. Last night, following (arguably) anti-democratic and violent protests by people deriding ‘hate politics’ – the irony escapes them – I watched a YouTube vignette you can see here (pardon the ad). In it, the speaker tells the politicians that the reason DT was elected was because the people had realised that the ‘liberal elite’ (read socialists-with-a-small-s and their supporters) had been telling us what we can think, and what we can say, for so long that the electorate said “enough!”. He suggested that attacks on those who held and proffered thoughts other than the politically-correct had given rise to a backlash. People were being viciously and loudly attacked for having the temerity to hold and verbalise a different opinion for so long, that they spoke out in the ballot box. They voted, “STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO THINK!”

I agree. I suspect that the (quote Fox News, for a laugh) the ‘mainstream liberal media’ had spent so much time attacking DT that ‘the people’ decided to stop being told what to think, and to ‘think’ and therefore ‘do’ the opposite, perhaps out of spite for the media. I don’t know if this is so, but as the guy who sometimes likes the underdog to win, this constant ‘look what he did!’ approach just pushes me to think the opposite. I suspect the US electorate felt the same.

Which takes me to the quote and tone of this post.

Contrary to the political elite’s apparent view, I DO have the choice on what to think. Habit 1 is about being proactive and realising there IS a choice, and I can use a lot of things to make that choice.

And if I am left alone to think it WITHOUT being attacked for thinking things, eventually I can use my self-awareness, independent will, creative imagination and conscience to decide what is right and what is wrong, for myself.

I don’t need to be lectured, I need to be informed and encouraged. I don’t need to be attacked, I need evidence. I don’t need to be shouted down, I need to be heard. And above all, to hear you I need to know that YOU understand what you are saying and that it is objective, that it is not just a dogmatic ideology (well-meant or not), one which you have not objectively tested but to which you slavishly adhere.

That’s the odd reason why, even though I don’t like Jeremy Corbyn’s politics, I can respect him because he truly believes them, while I cannot respect Diane Abbott because she espouses socialism and quality education for all while sending her own kids to private school.

I will question the ‘thinking ability’ of anyone who is slavishly adherent to a ‘side’ in politics. And I will listen to anyone who is willing to change their mind. For example, I ‘hated’ UK gay-rights activist Peter Tatchell for a long time – not because he was gay but because of his confrontational tactics. But I saw him last week defending the right of Irish bakers NOT to be forced by the Irish courts to contravene their values in wanting to not bake a pro-gay marriage cake. That demonstrated thinking. Quality thinking. I can now respect, even admire him.

Use the gap – use your brain. Don’t be told what to think. Think properly, so that you can be sure that what you think is right.

Don’t just be interested – be QUALIFIED.

19 Sunday Jun 2016

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“Renewal is the principle – and the process – that empowers us to move on in an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.” Stephen R Covey

I am now involved in the provision of a new Third Resolution ‘service’, having qualified (a loose term) as an Institute of Advanced Motorists Local Observer. This means I get to tell other people, with a level of authority, what I think of their driving. That is something I missed from my days as a uniformed copper. Although unlike then, those people will have paid to be told and they won’t argue (much) about my being right.

Yesterday, I attended a training session and was slightly taken aback to learn that for every 100 people who start training as advanced drivers, as many as 60% plus elect NOT to take the test at the end of the programme. Just as we say ‘You’ll pass the test!’, they decide that they don’t want to be tested. They’re good enough, the ‘authority’ tells them so, and they demur.

This is not like school, where you take an exam at the end of a school year, ready or not. These are people who have been prepared for, and told they can pass.

And I am astounded. I have spent my entire life testing myself against higher standards. I have sought out education and gained qualifications. Occasionally I have failed, only to revisit that failure and again take on that challenge, only to succeed. That doesn’t mean I am ecstatic when I approach an exam or assessment. I am nervous about the result. But I welcome the challenge because if I come through, I have proved to myself I am better than I was before.

So when I read that ‘our children are being stressed out through tests’ I think to myself, “Why are we telling our children to fear assessment? What numpty decided that being properly prepared for the challenges that will face us can only be overcome when they face us, and that we should not test ourselves in anticipation of that test.

Fortunately – and here’s the paradox – not one of us would want to be diagnosed by an unqualified doctor, have our accounts done by someone who can’t prove they are qualified (or at least have a Maths GCSE), or use a Uber driver who hasn’t passed his driving test. We absolutely insist that those who provide our services are qualified – trained and assessed – to do so. And yet some twits have decided that asking a teenager to take an exam in a peaceful, quiet room is stressful.

Life is a test. It tests our ability to cope, it tests our ability to overcome, it tests our ability to live a life of meaning. It wants us to be better, to find something about which we can be passionate.

Getting trained and independently assessed in those areas about which we are passionate and which serve our sense of meaning is a discipline (First Resolution), provides competence and builds our character (Second Resolution), and inevitably encourages us to start providing excellence in service when we manifest our training through employment or hobbies (Third Resolution).

And if your training and assessment is connected to your vision/mission/purpose – what the hell is there to get stressed about?

This week I encourage all readers to identify a mission- or passion-related qualification and go and sign up for the course that will demonstrate to others that you aren’t just interested – you are qualified.

For more on The Three Resolutions, go HERE to Amazon to get the Kindle version of the book, or HERE for a Paperback edition.

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I may be wrong … but I’m willing to be. If you’ll let me.

31 Sunday Jan 2016

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“Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses; don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake admit it, correct it, and learn from it – immediately.” Stephen R Covey

Wise words, words completely ignored by politicians. In their defence, they have been taught not to admit their mistakes (and you have to admit before learning from and correcting it, the progression is sound). The Press lambast any politician who makes a mistake to a point which, if done to just about anyone else, could legitimately result in a prosecution for using insulting words and behaviour likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress. Seriously. A momentary spoken gaffe, a failure to remember some obscure, unimportant, untimely or even irrelevant fact – boom, out come the headlines from experts in Googling and 20/20 hindsight who didn’t know either, until they looked it up. Or knew it because they have an interest and expect everyone to give a monkey’s.

I recall a US statesman (I think it was Dick Cheney) being derided for use of an expression along the lines of ‘There are things we know we know, and there are things we don’t know we know. There are things we don’t know we don’t know, and there are things we know we don’t know.’

Which is exactly how the accepted progression from unconscious incompetence, through conscious incompetence and conscious competence, to unconscious competence flows. (Look it up at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_stages_of_competence) It is how people learn. But evidently the press didn’t know this and headlined the message that Cheney was stupid. Ironically, those who DID know about the Four Stages realised how stupid the press made themselves look.

And the press is not accountable, is it? The Press holds everyone to account, but ask that it does the same in its own regard and the old ‘freedom of the press’ tagline screams at us from their pages. Remember Leveson? Remember the Press stating “we’ll have a Charter”? Where’s that all gone?

I’m also amused when a newspaper tells me I’m outraged about something which, not having read the paper yet, I don’t know about. And then when I read it, I’m still not outraged.

Let me give you a clue – when a report includes lots of emotionally charged adjectives and adverbs, they’re trying to wind you up, or they’re trying to make a story out of something that isn’t. When someone is writing what is admitted to be an ‘Opinion Piece’, it is just that – an Opinion. It may be well meant, it may be authoritative (rarely), but it is not Fact. When a report says, ‘critics are attacking’, it means the enemy is having a go – surprise!! It’s not FACT. Except to the degree ‘critics are attacking something’ is a fact of life.

And when a lawyer says, ‘My client’s instructions are….’, the lawyer doesn’t believe them, either. (Just thought I’d add that one in.)

I am always prepared to be wrong. But if someone makes an argument that uses hateful speech, personal attacks on people they’ve never met, or which is so obviously ideologically tinted, I’m none the wiser. I can’t see the facts for the flannel. ©

I only wish society would allow me the chance to be wrong with dignity.

 

For more on character, discipline and service, consider buying The Three Resolutions, available from Amazon HERE

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A Reminder of What This Site is All About. For me as well as for you.

22 Sunday Nov 2015

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‘The Three Resolutions’ describe how making three commitments can make quantum improvements in an individual’s life, specifically in three areas. The areas are the physical self in terms of the wellbeing of the body; the ‘mental’ self in terms of character and competence; and the spiritual self in terms of contribution and service to others. The commitments to be made are to overcome appetites and passions through the application of self-discipline and self-denial; to overcome pretentions and pride through becoming a person of good character, and of great professional competence; and to overcome unbridled ambition and aspiration through a focus outside oneself.

When I started this site I publicly committed to a set of rules, values and a personal mission statement that reflected those headings. In many ways I succeeded in executing to a degree, but I felt that I wasn’t as compliant with my intentions as I could or should have been. Asking myself why, and considering the self-generated feedback that resulted, I concluded that there were four reasons why I, and many others, don’t feel as though our level of compliance with our mission statements is as high as we would like.

This realisation led me to consider the reasons for this, and how we could go about addressing the gap between desire and execution in living our personal mission statement; or, for the purposes of this article, living The Way©.

One day, while listening to Stephen Covey’s “How to Develop and Use a Personal Mission Statement” audio, I was struck by ‘the glaringly obvious’. As he spoke about how creation and execution of a personal mission statement can direct us towards what we ultimately want, but towards getting what we want in the way it should be ‘got’ rather than through false or foul means, I concluded that there is only one true route to personal success. It’s a straightforward formula of four phrases. They are:

  •  Find the Way
  • Learn the Way
  • Live the Way
  • Teach the Way

These four phrases systematically summarise a strategy for living. The system reflects the identification, learning and application process, that process which we all undertake when learning to live, to work, to earn, to relate to others, to manage – everything. They embody all the skills we need to have and to demonstrate in our efforts to live ‘properly’. They also reflect those areas where, if we are not careful, we will act badly.

This system parallels any development process undertaken anywhere, by anyone, for any purpose. It is how a professional learns; it is how a religion becomes ingrained into an adherent to that religion; it is how a family member learns to become a contributor to that family. The reason that such a system works is because it is neutral. It is a principle in action. It is the principle of progression, of starting out as a novice with the aim of becoming a master – if mastery is sought.

I believe that the route to living your Way is taken through these four steps. The steps are progressive and they involve properly and fully identifying the Way, studying in greater detail about how the Way can be executed, then living in such a fashion as to clearly be in congruence with the Way, and finally to reinforce your Way be teaching it.

In brief, the four elements of The Way are expanded thus:

Find the Way. To quote Covey, the first challenges we face when deciding The Way is that we are not sure who we are, and where we want to go. The first task is therefore to decide what values you have or want to have, the associated behaviours you believe will help you comply with those values, and writing them down so that you, yourself, clearly understand them.

Learn the Way. The second challenge, once we have put our fingers on who we want to be and where we want to go, is to learn how to do so. It is about studying and committing to the behaviours that serve execution of The Way.

Live the Way. Having overcome the first two challenges, there remain still further challenges to living the Way.

The first is that we do not realise that we are compliant because we don’t feel as though we are ‘doing’ our mission all of the time. Life gets in our way in the sense that it is hard to consider yourself carrying out your mission when you are filling the dishwasher. Life is full of little routines that have to be done but aren’t, well, exciting.

The second reason for ineffective application of The Way that we have identified is inextricably linked to the first. As our lives are littered with unexciting, routine, non-mission projects, tasks and other activities, we fail to properly and routinely recognise opportunities to execute on our missions. For example, part of my own mission is to be patient with others. Imagine a day cluttered with runs to the shops, commuting in traffic jams, banking and managing money – then something jumps at you and interrupts you and in that second you react impatiently, because you haven’t seen, in the clutter, that opportunity to be what you want to be. The third step is to identify and overcome the challenges and live The Way – the way that you want to.

Teach the Way. And one way of living The Way is to spend a lot of time teaching it. Stephen Covey counselled participants at his many events that the best way to learn something is to teach it to others. He would ‘volunteer’ random attendees and tell them he was about to teach something that they would have to repeat to other participants. Then he would point out to those others that his ‘volunteers’ had just pricked up their ears and picked up their pens – they were now listening because they knew they had to understand what they were about to teach.

That, therefore, is what this site is about. Providing articles and suggestions to help you get what you want, to the level you want, in a principled way. To help you find your Way.

Go to it.

Life’s too short to wait to ….. (enter here what you’re not doing)

01 Sunday Nov 2015

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“You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again.” Benjamin Franklin

I chose this quote from the ‘father’ of time management to reflect how much I recognise that procrastination can be an obstacle to my success, although I don’t do it as much as I think I do. I put procrastination off whenever I can.

I was recently at an event run by John Grant, the founder of the YB12 – Your Best Year Ever brand, the brand of which I am proud to be a part (see HERE) and as he was speaking I made the following note on my course workbook:

“I don’t have time to wait to be the best I can possibly be.”

I am 53, with a birthday next month. Optimistically, that’s only 4 years older than Stephen Covey was when he published The Seven Habits. Realistically, I am 35 years older than Jenson Button was when he entered F1, so that’s a dream that isn’t going to happen.

Back to my point. We all have futures, most of us plan for them. Some have detailed plans, others have an ‘idea’ of where they want to go and will get there. Some have no idea. (Some of those wear sports clothes but never break into a sweat unless running from the Law.)

For so many, me included, the recognition that we have a future, and accidents and illness aside a fairly lengthy one, means that we also subconsciously perceive that we can put things off ‘just a bit’, as if we’ll still have the same amount of time left to complete that action as we had when we put it off! A day here and there doesn’t matter, after all. Or does it?

In our culture, a day frequently becomes a week – something we put off on Monday was “better done on a Monday so I’ll do it next Monday.” A diet starts on the first day of the month, so that’ll be next month.” Or a birthday. Or “It’s November the 1st today. Year’s almost over, and Christmas is around the corner, lots of planning to be done, etc. etc. so I’ll set some New Year’s Resolutions and start on Jan 1st.” Except we also know that Jan 1st means coping with the feelings, chocolates and booze left over from the night before and the 1st becomes the 2nd, and in no time at all – “Where has the year GONE?”

The likes of Bill Gates†, Steve Jobs, Ghandi, Franklin, Lincoln, Churchill and so on (pick your own) didn’t procrastinate. They took action. They took action and achieved more than most of us ever will, in some cases with no computers, no Internet, and no electric light . They maximised their use of time through planning and by NOT putting things off.

We all have a future. For some it will be longer than for others, so there’s no equality there.

But we all have NOW.

Use it better. ‘Cos it just passed you by at infinity times the speed of light. Another one went while you read that. And that. Ad infinitum.

† I like it when personal development writers use Gates and Jobs as examples of people who succeeded without a degree. Pause. They were at Ivy League colleges. Clue: not cheap places, having money and connections helps, and they had to have passed seriously hard exams and processes to get in. The degree was a given, if they’d stayed.

*If you want to stop procrastinating, and live reasonably close to South Wales, consider this as a valuable opportunity to learn how to stop procrastinating and get what you want in 2016.

https://threeresolutionsguy.com/total-focus-workshop-january-2016-south-wales-uk/

How to plan for Peace.

04 Sunday Oct 2015

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“The more completely weekly goals are tied into a wider framework of correct principles and into a personal mission statement, the greater the increase in effectiveness will be.” Stephen R Covey

I recently met with a good friend and colleague who ambushed me (in a nice way) and asked for a bit of time management input. Right off the bat I was initially a bit ‘errr, ummmm, aaah’ but after a few seconds of confusion (resulting from the lack of the time available for the preparation I usually could have put into such valuable teaching) I knew what was needed. The Weekly Planning ‘Line of Sight’ approach reflected in the above quotation.

Many people plan in a vacuum, if they plan at all. Occasionally by virtue of their work responsibilities or other influence there isn’t a great deal of planning the see themselves able to do. Their work is identified for them by others, in advance, and their total input is just to see that it gets done. Their perception is therefore that they need not plan at all.

But that view doesn’t reflect the reality that we are ‘people’ 24/7 and the non-work time needs to be planned too, if it is to be of any value.

So the advice I gave my friend was to use the 6 Step Planning method used by Stephen Covey in the book First Things First, later edited, jiggled with and reframed by others, but nevertheless the original and best. To plan your week:

  1. Reconnect with your Mission. (Haven’t got one yet? HOW MANY MORE TIMES!) Re-read your PMS and decide what you are about.
  2. Identify your Roles. List the roles you will be acting this week, and omit those which have no part in this week’s intended activity. Leave them for next week. Or never.
  3. Set Goals for each Role. Set a goal or two for each role, a goal that will stretch you but stil direct you towards your intended destination.
  4. Schedule your priorities. Not prioritise your schedule. The former means planning to execute your priorities at scheduled times. The other means only deciding your appointments are important, and they might not be.
  5. Exercise Integrity in the Moment of Choice. That means doing what you intended unless a genuine emergency, or better PMS-orientated opportunity arises. And ONLY then.
  6. Evaluate your week. At the end of the week and start of the next, look at how well you performed – or not.

Where’s the line of sight? It’s Mission through planning to execution to success. I know that some things we are responsible for doing aren’t PMS related BUT if your PMS includes references to excellence in performance then even the things you don’t want to do as ‘things’ can still serve that part of your mission. (I wish I’d learned and committed to that a bit better before I retired.)

The result – higher self-esteem and a sense of satisfaction at a job done well, and movement towards what you have defined is important to you. Can’t ask for better.

I’m just off to plan my week; the personal and professional commitments that I have decided through my PMS will receive my fullest commitment, including “excellence in the study, understanding, observation and presentation of principled-centred personal leadership to my clients, recognising and supporting their need to be successful,” and to being “proactive and disciplined in the gap between desire and reluctance when doing what must be done.”

I’ve already “maintain(ed) both my body and my mind by putting into them that which serves their wellbeing, and by actively exercising both.” And my legs ache.

But the sense of accomplishment is great.

Do it – plan your week using the 6 step process, and if that is 7-steps because you haven’t written your PMS yet – make that a scheduled priority. You won’t believe the peace of the results even when you see them.

Tempus meum prope est in tempore non tuo*

20 Sunday Sep 2015

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“We’re stewards over our time, our talents, our resources. Stewardship involves a sense of being accountable to someone or something higher than self.” Stephen R Covey

One of ‘my’ original tenets is that everything we do in life we do for someone, with someone, or as a result of someone else’s input. We don’t live and work in a vacuum. Stewardship reflects this situation – for our purposes it is defined thus by Wikipedia – “Stewardship is now generally recognized as the acceptance or assignment of responsibility to shepherd and safeguard the valuables of others.” Stewardship ‘is a trust, in the sense that what we have (talents, time, resources) are not ours to do with as we please, but they belong to others. We therefore have a responsibility to use those things wisely for others.

Accepting for a moment one of my other tenets (that there’s nothing wrong with finding ‘what’s in it for me’ in any service or purpose), you and I are therefore stewards, and accountable for the use of our time, talents and resources because they also belong to those we serve.

Even when what we are doing is essentially selfish on the outside (having fun, partying, starting a new business in an effort to make money, going fishing), others are being served by us – they are being paid to provide their services, they are being employed, they are partying with us, etc.) There is no accountability gap. What we do involves others either as servants or the served. Hence the stewardship argument – to do the best we can with what we have, so that others can be served too.

What are you using your time for? Or more precisely, are you using your time to best effect – are you serving, learning, growing, becoming something more than you were a few minutes, days or weeks ago? How about your talents? Are you holding back on the best you could be in the hope that someone will notice what you’re hiding and suddenly make you great? How about other resources – are they sitting idle, rusting and deteriorating through lack of use? Remember that the unused car may look nice, but when you try to start it – will it seize? (Cliché moment – a ship is safest in the harbour, but that’s not what ships are for.)

At the moment I am at a bit of a hiatus – a number of projects are ongoing and awaiting the moment of execution. Once they start I hope I’ll be run off my feet but just now it’s almost quiet. So in an effort to utilise my own time I will be reviewing my writings (books!) and seeing how I can improve and recirculate them as a service to those who may just benefit from the assembly of words and the codifying of random thoughts. I’m also reading a novel or two and I’ve committed to testing myself in one of my hobby areas in an effort to comply with my Three Resolutions.

Time’s a-wasting, and as it belongs to you I have every intention of using your time wisely. Oh, and thanks for letting me have it.

*My time is your time. According to Google Translate.

Know WHY you act as you do – so you can do it better.

03 Friday Jul 2015

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“Out of private victories, public victories come. Stephen R Covey

Both the 7 Habits and The Three Resolutions promote the concept of ‘progression of competence’, whereby while seeing that we develop along a continuum from a low level of execution of each (Habit or Resolution) to wards excellence, we accept the simultaneous presence of the traits of each (Habit or Resolution) at different levels of execution regardless of the individual’s acknowledgement or recognition of any of them. By that I mean whether you know it or not, you have a level of competence in each Habit or Resolution, whether you like it or not, and whether you pursue it or not.

This means you don’t have to learn the Habits/Resolutions in order because you are already applying each, all the time, and at varying levels of skill. You may not be very proactive (Habit 1) but might have a passionate purpose around which you manage your time fairly well (Habits 2 and 3), and you might be disciplined in exercising your body while being a poor manager of a service organisation to which you are dedicated. You are exercising all facets of the concepts (7H-3R),  but at varying levels of skill.

But because you have no understanding of the progression of the concepts, you are not performing as well as you might – and probably want to.

In both cases, fully understanding and executing on a Habit/Resolution will have massive impact on your ultimate success. To use a poor analogy, you might be able to read, but if you don’t understand the big words then you’ll get by, but you won’t thrive intellectually as much as you might. ‘Those who don’t read (well) are little better off than those who can’t read’.

(I like the title ‘NLP Practitioner’, used by those certified in NLP. My understanding of NLP is that we are all ‘practising it’ – we have to, it’s psychology allied to physiology – but not having paid the £2,000 to get the course, we aren’t official ‘Practitioners’.)

With either the Three Resolutions or The 7 Habits, I encourage you to read and understand the ideas. Both provide a continuum from self-mastery to inter-personal success, which means knowing and deciding (designing) who you are so that you can serve others better.

And when the others know you as well as you know yourself – the world will be your lobster because you’ll be accepted, respected, acknowledged – and trusted.

The 4 Human Needs and The Third Resolution.

16 Saturday May 2015

Posted by in Purpose and Service

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“The four human needs are to live, to love, to learn, and to leave a legacy.” Stephen R Covey

Contrary to all ex-servicemen and ex-police officers basic instincts I volunteered again this week, to serve an association to which I am, er, associated. Why, I don’t hear you ask.

Humans have four needs, as proposed by Stephen Covey. (Tony Robbins identified 6 but they’re encompassed by Covey’s 4.) When all 4 needs are met, you hit a sweet spot, as illustrated.

4HN

As shown above, the needs are:

  • to live (physical, survival, economic needs),
  • to love (social-emotional, connection needs),
  • to learn (mental, growth needs), and
  • to leave a legacy (meaning need).

Let’s focus on that last one for a moment.

The Third Resolution states “To overcome the restraining forces of unbridled aspiration and ambition, I resolve to dedicate my talents and resources to noble purposes and to provide service to others.”

This isn’t a call to action by someone seeking your blind obedience. If you to choose to accept it, it is your personal declaration of, and commitment to act upon your own conscience-driven acceptance that in order to have some meaning in your life, you have to (and must want to) provide service to others.

It is a spiritual need, a need to not just be good, but to be good for something, something outside of ourselves. While an egotist may be satisfied with a headstone that says, “See, I told you I was great,” the rest of us would like to have been appreciated by someone for having done something that they remember affected them positively. Even the statement, “Beloved father/mother/brother/friend” shows an appreciation for who we were in respect of others, and what we meant to them.

That is why charities exist. They exist so that those involved can serve others. The same applies to professional associations, even to political parties – until they get a bit self-focused, but that’s another blog. Several, in fact. (Oddly, competing charities, parties and associations often exist because of the egos of the competing parties who want the charity run ‘their way’, rather than just serving the other. Why else is Help the Heroes now competing with umpteen other charities?)

So, as conscience-driven commitment to, and in compliance with the Third Resolution, it is our responsibility to find opportunities to serve. My own recommendation is that you serve family first, and then those organisations to which you are connected and which, if you think about it, have already served you. That can mean communities, charities, professional associations, you name it.

Anyway, that’s what I’m doing. Next, I get to find out what I have actually let myself in for.