Tag Archives: seven habits

Save your children!

19 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by in Discipline, Time Management, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

Dearly beloved, today’s lesson comes from the Book of Principle-Centred Leadership, Chapter 12, pages whatever (Kindle doesn’t paginate).

Don’t you just love it when you think a profound thought – and then read a book by a great writer who expresses exactly the same idea? Maybe with better prose, but identifying the same concept, nevertheless?

I have suggested in the past that success is basically the result of excellent time management and effective communication, and in the aforesaid book, Stephen Covey suggested that a successful family life is the result of those two skills. Okay, he adds problem-solving as a third competence but two out of three ain’t bad.

Covey proposes that time management, or rather the ability to lead and manage ourselves in the context of the time available and our relationships, is essential if we aren’t to waste time NOT doing those things that create what we define as success. He proposes that the ability to be clear in communication is also key – clearly saying what we mean, ensuring that we understand what others mean, and even getting so good at communication that we hardly have to speak at all. And developing the skill to solve problems, which is based on asking four questions.

  1. Where are we now?
  2. Where do we want to be?
  3. How will we get there?
  4. How will we know we’ve got there?

Which, to be frank and to return ‘his’ three skills back to matching my two and making me feel smug all over again, is basically the formula for setting a Goal – in this case, setting the Goal of Solving the Problem. And goal setting firmly comes under the time management heading. So there.

Can you think of any problem that isn’t solved by asking those four questions? Even if the problem is solved in three seconds flat, the solver undergoes that process even if they don’t realise it.

David Allen, in his book ‘Getting Things Done’ also outlines how we unconsciously undergo a ‘Natural Planning Method’ when we plan even the simplest of projects, which scientists have analysed into Project Management ‘science’. Everything complicated started out as something simple. We just make it harder because we’re sooooo clever. Which might explain why, in 2021, it takes years to implement any idea that used to take weeks. Discuss.

Given that Stephen Covey and I are so clever, one has to ask (as a client, employer or individual):

Why don’t they teach time management, communication and generic problem solving to young people in school?

Imagine an organised student able to express him- or herself with patient sentence construction, who has a plan to achieve what is expected of them as well as what they want to achieve as a person, who sees a problem as a relatively simple A to B issue that s/he has time and resources to solve. Instead of just telling them stuff we want them to regurgitate in December and May.

It seems strange how we expect people to know this stuff without teaching it.

Buy this book and give it to your kids!

7HT

 

Never too old for an AHA! Moment.

12 Wednesday Feb 2020

Posted by in Character and Competence, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , ,

As I indicated yesterday, my afternoon was spent regaling a crowd of mature people with my reminiscences and observations on policing, 1986 and 2020 style. During that talk, I spoke of how, in the ‘olden days’ of 34 years ago, training of officers was based on laws and practices of law enforcement and how, in the mid-1990s, the focus swung its pendulum from that and more towards teaching diversity. Now, that was an exaggeration and the example I used was how detailed and deep training on The Theft Act was now 7 pages of the training material, whereas diversity was 14. Which might explain why coppers can’t investigate without the internet, any more. 😊

My point, poorly made, was to show how diffusion of training to soft skills had an effect on law enforcement.

Afterwards, two people came up to me and challenged me on the basis that (they heard) I’d said diversity training wasn’t important which was not my intention. It became clear that one lady – an equalities trainer – had an expertise in this area that I did not, but it also meant she had a passion on the subject which I will never match. As Covey said, “One man’s mission is another man’s minutia.”

I countered her ‘need for training’ with a ‘just be nice to everybody’ argument, but then person number two said – and this made me really think – ‘Some people need to be taught how to be nice.’

Now THAT was an argument that I’d never considered, but it made sense. An AHA! Moment.

I come from the school of thought borne of the First Habit ‘ Be Proactive’ which promotes the idea that we all have an ability to choose our response to stimuli. This means that when someone (person 1?) tells me that poverty causes crime/stabbings, I respond, “Doesn’t have to, therefore it is not an excuse.”

But person 2’s statement really piqued my interest. I guess some people DO have to be taught how to be nice.

Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t believe we need three day courses on other cultures to be nice. I believe we simply have to have a half-day course to suggest that other cultures exist, and people may not see things the way I do – but I may not see things the way they do, either.

But in these times of polarity, how about having learned and understood that, instead of screaming every time someone inadvertently transgresses (or tells what is clearly a joke), we try forgiving them and politely asking them, once, not to do it again.

THAT is how you build bridges – not by bombing the other side of the river.

So while person 1’s attack and demand that I understand – no, actively AGREE with – her point didn’t work, that one sentence from person two, which was not directed AT me but FOR me, made me think.

I still don’t believe that ‘poverty’ is an excuse for criminality, but I can see how an upbringing that isn’t all it could be can explain distrust and an argumentative nature. And for that reason I’d love it if the sociologists would stop spreading the ‘poverty is a reason and therefore an excuse for crime’ meme and try, instead and with the same end, the ‘you are not a product of your environment unless you choose to be – and if you choose crime you choose the consequences’ argument.

And teach it in schools, before it’s too late.

If I had a big lottery win…….

Awaken The Woke!

07 Friday Feb 2020

Posted by in Rants, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

I have a huge, qualified distaste for ‘woke’. Every time I hear someone doing something that sits squarely under the ‘woke’ headline, I cringe.

I don’t cringe because of the motive behind Woke. The motives are, on the face of it at least, generally positive. There is nothing wrong with accepting diversity (but why do we have to ‘celebrate’ it if the desire is to make it the norm?), gentle environmentalism, respect for other cultures. But how it’s executed is often extremist, and therefore annoying – even alarming. In the examples below I am speaking of the Extreme Woke, not (for example) the lady who challenges a sexist comment.

In the field of coaching, and more specifically in the field of Seven Habits coaching, there are some presuppositions, just as there are in NLP training. Presuppositions are the ‘unquestioned’ bases for the philosophy being promoted by the coach. I put unquestioned in quotes because one of the presuppositions is that only Principles are undeniable – everything else is up for debate.

The pre-suppositions include:

The Concept of Paradigms. The Woke do not believe that any other ways of seeing things exist but their own. They cannot be wrong. They cannot even be partly mistaken. They are already right. End of.

Circles of Concern. The Woke have a Circle of Concern that envelopes everything. They have an opinion on everything despite rarely being expert in anything. In fact, they believe their Circle of Influence dwarfs their Circle of Concern, such is their Wokeness.

Taking Responsibility. The Woke thinks that everyone else around them should take responsibility for the feelings of The Woke, and they must bend over backwards to serve The Woke’s sensibilities. Safe spaces, FGS.

Be Proactive. This is where we take a moment between stimulus and response to choose – yes, choose – our response. Many of The Woke just seem to have a knee-jerk reaction to any questioning of their thinking and consider shouting down and interruption to be their right. A right that they do not provide to others, who must be non-platformed just for thinking a different way.

Seeking First to Understand. The Woke have their conclusions and they will not be questioned or asked to explain. If someone dares to do so, they conduct a metaphorical ‘hands over years, nah nah nah=nah-nah’ technique to drown them out.

Think Win-Win. The Woke believe in their way, or the highway.

The Concept of Service. The Woke have a concept of service that stops at protestation. They write, they march, they shout, then they go home. By virtue of their youth or position they are usually unable to actually do anything about a problem BUT demand someone else solves it. Preferably with someone else’s money and time. Oh, and it must be done NOW.

The Seven Habits philosophy is about taking responsibility for the things you can and should do something about. They are about having a sense of mission that creates results. They are about understanding other ideas without necessarily agreeing with them, and they are about serving others using our talents and skills. Paradoxically, they are also about listening to the Woke.

If The Woke started applying the Seven Habits, I suspect they’d be (a) less loud and (b) more successful.

Do please pass this on to any Woke that you know. You can often recognise them by the way they take huge, fuax-offence at things that have nothing to do with them.

 

 

Here’s to trainers and teachers. The GOOD ones, anyway.

06 Thursday Feb 2020

Posted by in Character and Competence, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , ,

Today, I will end this post with a blatantly stolen question from a Seven Habits workbook – from version 1, pre-1997. I am proud/ashamed (delete as applicable) to say I have a copy of all four, progressive versions of the said workbook, plus their one for policing. I am a Seven Habits nerd. And proud of it.

Trainers. Occasionally pointed at with the comment, “Those who can, do, while those who can’t, teach.” What an arrogant and incorrect paradigm.

In my experience, yes, there may be some who go into training to avoid work. Of course, having done so they realise the amount of work they have to do in order to teach.

But the motive for many must be, “I enjoy what I have learned and what I am doing, so I want to teach others for two reasons. Firstly, to make them better and secondly – to make me better.”

Stephen Covey was the author who introduced (at least to me) the concept of Third Person Teaching. And what a powerful idea.

He proposed that the best way to learn by far, is to teach. Which means when we learn, we must prepare ourselves to teach others what we are learning. This requires attentive listening, a probing mind – and a willingness to stand by what we have learned if we wish to teach it. For example, I couldn’t and wouldn’t have sought to teach teenagers and colleagues The Seven Habits if I had not believed in them, and if I did not wish to live by them. (Okay, I’m still trying…….)

If you listen or watch one of Covey’s lectures on YouTube, you may see or hear the one where he tells the audience on round tables that the person sitting at 6 o’clock will be expected to teach his next concept when he finishes talking, at which those at 6 o’clock desperately squirm and wriggle their chairs towards 5 and 7.

Teaching is hard if you don’t know what it is your expounding, but it is exceptionally hard to teach something you don’t believe in. But when you do believe in it, the information flows, and queries are answered with clarity and aplomb. When you live it, half the lesson is planned and presented even before you pick up a pen or start talking.

So have some respect for trainers who have lived what they are teaching you. They have learned what works and what does not, and they are willing to put their character on the line to show you the better way.

On the other hand, beware trainers who just regurgitate what someone else has told them to say. I recall several ‘debates’ with trainers who tried to instil blind obedience to ‘their’ input, when I could show them they were wrong. It seemed in that particular organisation that a questioning mind wasn’t a prerequisite for a trainer, and it wasn’t welcomed in a student. Unfortunately, I have one, and I also back it up with professional qualifications. Which, for someone training ME, can be a minefield. 😊

I think it soon becomes evident when a trainer is regurgitating, and when a trainer believes in what they are teaching. Learn to spot the difference, and always be mindful that the easier it looks – the harder the effort that was put in to make it that way.

Now, that question. Who will you teach about Three-Person Teaching?

Now, go teach someone about this and see how quickly you go back to Line 1……..

 

What I teach.

51SrzOWl+nL__SX312_BO1,204,203,200_

Habit 2 – Brush Daily.

03 Monday Feb 2020

Posted by in Time Management, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Habit 2 – Brush Daily.

Tags

, , ,

And today’s question is: What am I doing (Am I doing anything??) to establish Begin with the End in Mind as a habit of effectiveness in my life?

Seems a simple question. If I was to guess, when it comes to work-related strategies and tasks, most readers would have a list of answers available. However, I would also surmise that the Beginning with the End in Mind in respect of work is more about processes and protocols that dictate what you do, rather than actually applying that particular habit at a conscious level.

All the same, work examples proliferate, so I’ll ask you to look, instead, at your personal lives, and perhaps at the most basic of levels. What are you doing at home to which you apply End in Mind thinking?

Here’s an odd one. I’ll be blunt and say that I hate cleaning my teeth. Don’t know why, some childhood trauma, I suppose. Maybe one day I was cleaning my teeth and Dad walked into the room naked. Whatever, I hate standing still long enough to brush, and this was more obvious before I invested in an electric toothbrush, and these days it is a habit, as it should be.

This morning, though, I had a blinding flash of the obvious. What is the End in Mind with tooth-brushing? The most obvious answer would be avoidance of bad breath and cleany-whitey teeth, but that in either case that is a day-long, fleeting objective.

No, this morning I realised that the End in Mind was a 6-month process. It wasn’t about the sensibilities of my workmates or going out on the pull with pearly white pearly whites. It was about going to the dentist and coming away without the impending terror of a needle and a drill.

That was my new end in Mind. I love cleaning my teeth, regardless of Dad’s indiscretion.

That may be a silly example, but it does illustrate how little we think about Ends in the moment. We think about today’s tasks, and we think most of all about what is smack bang in front of us in the moment. Which is one of the reasons a lot of professionals feel stress at work – the ‘in your face’ prevents us doing the ‘important’. We are constantly interrupted by minutiae, but minutiae that someone demands we do, whether now or to some arguably random and unnecessary deadline invented to make life easier for an administrator rather than an operator.

But like tooth-brushing, if we stop for a moment and really think about the End rather than the interim objective, perhaps we can see more clearly what is important, what brings the most return on our time, or even just what the ultimate benefit could be. And at the same time see what really should be left until it absolutely has to be done, and with the appropriate non-priority.

Think about all those things you hate doing, which you put off easily or completely avoid.

What IS the ultimate, perhaps more important objective?

If discovering that changes your perspective enough to maximise your effectiveness, do it.

It’ll save needing professional help later. I promise.

And the dentist ain’t buying a new BMW on MY dollar.

How full is your glass?

30 Thursday Jan 2020

Posted by in Character and Competence, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on How full is your glass?

Tags

, , ,

I read an interesting ‘alternative viewpoint’ on the Seven Habits philosophies recently. It was an article written in 1994, early in the days of The Seven Habits (at least as a famous philosophy), which I discovered through good old Google. It was a bit of biography and a bit about the Habits, and in fairness appeared to be balanced, criticising and complimenting in equal measure. Do you remember those days? So long ago.

The part that caught my attention was an interesting, albeit negative take on people being taught to take personal responsibility and I quote:

“The problem, they say, lies in the message that is being subsidized by management: that individual workers are responsible for their own destinies, and that the way to achieve security and serenity is through continual self-improvement. For a big corporation that is mowing down whole suitefulls of middle managers, critics say, this can be a handy way to get employees to start thinking that if they are laid off, the fault lies somewhere in themselves. “If the individual worker is made to feel the responsibility for his or her condition, the social contract is no longer there.” (Quote is that of Jeremy Rifkin, author of ‘The End of Work: The Decline of the Global Labour Force and the Dawn of the Post- Market Era’. Article is by Timothy K. Smith.)

That’s a bit negative – and, given the cost of the company providing the training, a very expensive strategy. Who trains people just as you’re thinking of sacking them? Makes no sense but hey, you can’t fault finding a bad motive in any principled act, eh?

The benefit of teaching people to take responsibility in the event of a redundancy threat, is to remind them that they are not reliant on others to do everything for them. They are reminded that benefits are not the only option. And they are reminded that ‘being miserable’ is not the only, and certainly not the best option. Furthermore, such advice can be taken anywhere, including one’s personal life – unlike most in-house training.

Our experience influences how we see what happens to us, but it does not have to dictate how we feel about it, or how we act as a result.

I was also amused by a second quote where someone (non-Mormon) who’d studied Mormonism for 34 years – needed a job, I guess – read some Seven Habits material and dismissively concluded ‘I can see that was written by a Mormon’ – adding, by the way, that he didn’t know why he felt that. What he had been shown was the book Principle-Centred Leadership, which included a list of suggested traits of the principled leader – fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, service, quality, and excellence – and these Were the terms that led him to his conclusion. Which begs the question what principles the critic felt were acceptable outside that church. Methinks he studied Mormonism with a view to proving why he was right in hating it. (I am NOT a member of the church, by the way.)

My question today, therefore is – do you ever see something absolutely normal, and conclude that there is some motive behind it that doesn’t serve you?

If you do, I bet Christmas is fun……

Taking your (de)briefs down properly.

20 Friday Dec 2019

Posted by in Character and Competence, General, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Taking your (de)briefs down properly.

Tags

, , , ,

A LinkedIn post yesterday spoke of a person who’d received their ‘Debriefing’ certificate. Hands up, my first thoughts were ‘who needs to be trained in criticising?’ Uncharitable, and definitely a bit closed-minded.

Particularly so because while I have not myself been on such a course, I have had input that could easily be described under the term ‘debriefing’, from a good friend. So I have been trained. Whether it is the same level or content I may never know.

Most debriefs celebrate either ‘what went wrong’ if the project failed and will be heavily laden with ‘I told you sos’ from those who were never asked their opinion beforehand and feel piqued, or who were asked – but said nothing. They would be the types heavily reliant on hindsight. Of course, the same people would also contribute on a successful operation’s debrief, but would be claiming credit or, at least, that their contribution was the ‘bit’ that made everything work.

The problem, as far as my good friend would be concerned, is that both focus only upon the majors – they focus on went wrong (failed project) or celebrate what went right (successful project).

Both debriefs fail, therefore, to see a broader picture that would better serve the next event.

My friend, on the other hand, said all debriefs should rely on just three questions.

  1. What went well?
  2. What did we learn?
  3. What will we do next time?

This set of questions is brilliant. It allows for the ‘good’ stuff to be celebrated first. A positive start, creating a positive environment for the next question.

The order of the three questions is also brilliant because without using the word ‘wrong’, the second question invites people to both own and solve the problems they have identified, rather than just focusing on the fact “it was someone else’s fault and I would have done it differently but I wasn’t asked”. (See above.) It is solution focused but does not avoid the issue that the solution will address. It lets people contribute to a better end rather than just allow for a typically selfish hit job on somebody else – who frequently won’t be present but that’s a different post. (Guilty, and ashamed.)

The last question brings the answers to the first questions into a plan, rather than leaving everything hanging and allowing the detractors to carry on buck-passing.

My friend (John M, thank you!) used this trilemma of questions every time –and I mean every time – we did anything together, and it served me well. It must have done because he let me do things on my own later on, some great opportunities that his mentoring allowed me to take.

Which is another thing – keep hold of your mentors. They believed in you as much as you believe in them, and that’s a beautiful situation for any aspirant to greatness.

Learn the three questions, and apply them frequently. Even if you’re the only one present at the debrief.

Print your own certificate…………………

Find the harmony within.

09 Monday Dec 2019

Posted by in Character and Competence, Purpose and Service, Time Management, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Find the harmony within.

Tags

, , , , , ,

I like music. When I was about 13 years old, I remember being in school when a million hip youngsters (it seemed) turned up carrying the same album, a blue sleeve upon which was a picture of heavy waves striking a sandy beach under a blue sky, in which was positioned a twisted tubular bell. At the time, it was either Tubular Bells or Yes’ ‘Close to the Edge’ that was the accessory of fashionable choice. In 1978, my brother bought Tubular Bells and after a covert listen (‘Don’t touch my records!’) I invested in Mike Oldfield’s album Incantations. I now have a copy of everything he’s ever done.

What I learned from listening to Oldfield’s music in particular, and which became evident in other records (of course) was that music relies on an interplay – the melody, it’s harmony, the rhythm, percussion. Music is incomplete without every element, and what I find truly magical in some music is that even the silent space between notes creates its own ‘sound’. I often hear music within music that careful listening tells me isn’t actually there. Or I will hear something through headphones for the first time (as opposed to house speakers) and I will hear a whole different tune hidden in the song.

Another thing I often notice is how, if you take the music away from some really famous singers – they sound bloody awful. As if, were you to stand them on a stage and ask them to go acapella they’d get the Big Red Buzzer off Cowell and Co by their second line. (Imagine Van Morrison or Bob Dylan on The X Factor, today.)

In effect, it is the synergy between all the parts that create the symphonic beauty that music can be.

Reading First Things First, Stephen Covey reminds us that, like my take on music, being good at ‘one bit’ can be satisfying and rewarding but being a master of all the bits is better.

We all have four human endowments – they are:

  • Self-awareness – the ability (not utilised buy many) to realise who we are and that we can improve on that;
  • Creative imagination – the ability to see what we want;
  • Independent will – the ability to pursue what we have seen we want; and
  • Conscience – the ability to see that what we want is – or is not – what we should seek.

If you have one bit, you may be

  • Self-aware – but with no idea what to do with that knowledge.
  • Creatively imaginative – but have no discipline to bring into reality what your brilliant mind saw.
  • Independent and productive – but while your trains run on time the way you made that happen destroys other people.
  • Conscience – you’re a saint, but people walk all over you to get their things done.

If you have all the bits, you know that you are capable of imagining a better way, know what to do in order to create it, have the discipline and energy to create it, and can do so with the assistance of others who you bring along with you to mutual benefit.

What does that mean in time management terms?

Having this knowledge means that you can focus your efforts on achieving things within your capabilities, or those of your team. It means not wasting time and effort on things outside your Circle of Influence. It means acknowledging your weaknesses and either manging them or making them irrelevant. It means knowing your strengths and maximising their effect. It also means spending less time on faddy PR programmes that make you seem all fluffy and nice but have little or no effect on what you are for.

(That last one was just me. Maybe. But then again, maybe I’m partly right.)

Now tie all this to your neediness. Can you address your needs to live, love, learn and leave a legacy better by focusing your efforts on knowing who you are, what you can do about it, and how? And all in a conscience-controlled way?

This is where you know that to live long, you need to be aware of your appetites and willingness to exercise, find systems that suit your situation that can help you do that, and then fully implement them. This was where you decided, once, what you wanted to be ‘when you grow up’ and now realise you aren’t there – yet – and you strart to work in that direction. This is where your conscience tells you whether you’re treating loved ones properly, and you rekindle that loving relationship. And this is where you realise that what you want to contribute needs some deep, foundational work on your part if it’s to get done.

It’s weird, isn’t it? That’s how music works. Every separate part designed to complement the other parts so that the whole is magnificent.

But while living that was it isn’t common practice, it could be. Start now.

Compose yourself. 😊

You ONLY score Own Goals.

04 Wednesday Dec 2019

Posted by in Discipline, General, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on You ONLY score Own Goals.

Tags

, ,

“Why aren’t I sticking to, and achieving my goals?”

Been there? Done that? Me too.

This week I are been mainly studying First Things First, as Jesse would say*, and last night I was reading about the continuity of goal planning.

(Briefly, and as many a corporate employee would understand it, continuity in goal-planning means ‘Values dictate Mission dictates Roles dictates Goals dictates Action.’)

Covey was illustrating how often people fail to come through on their goals they set because they don’t truly understand themselves, a subject he also touched upon his The Three Resolutions chapter in Principle-Centred Leadership (1991). By extension, if you are not sure what your role is (at work or in any other context), you are already hampering any potential achievement.

This all struck a chord with me. There are some goals I have executed upon – and executed well. For example, my time management book and The Three Resolutions were the result of a disciplined effort over quite a period of time. My advanced driving qualifications and the subsequent opportunities to teach others that arose from achieving that goal are also a bit of a source of smugness. The jobs I got and the professional qualifications I have – all the result of a goal set and the work done.

But there are so many goals I have made over the years that simply never get ‘done’. Or they do get ‘done’, but only temporarily.

Why is that?

I suspect it is because I can’t answer the following question in the right way. Covey asked me to ask myself

“Do I really want to do it? Am I willing to pay the price? Do I have enough strength to do it? Do I accept the responsibility for my own growth? Am I settling for mediocrity when I could be achieving excellence? Am I blaming and accusing others for my own inability to set and achieve goals?” (Covey, Stephen R.. First Things First . Mango Media. Kindle Edition.)

In this order – No. No. No. I would normally, but not here. Yes. Yes. (Ouch.)

Charles R. Hobbs also touched upon this area when he wrote how Ben Franklin set 13 values-based goals. He’d originally set 12 but asked a Quaker friend his opinion on those. The Quaker suggested he add ‘Humility’ as a value, and act accordingly. In his autobiography, Franklin wrote how this was the hardest value/goal to achieve, and he’d frequently failed to achieve anything other than the appearance of humility.

The reason for his failure? The value, and the goal – weren’t his. They were suggested by A.N. Other.

The goals I fail to achieve are the ones I am supposed to want to achieve. They’re the ones espoused by all the coaches in the civilised world – health and fitness. Even when I have achieved them – got to the target weight, trained and run the long distances – I have drifted back to largesse once the goals’ metrics were achieved.

Achieving ‘other peoples’ goals’ is rarely sustainable. (Which means when I see a colleague is ‘delighted’ to have been awarded a career-threatening project, I cringe. I always noted people had to be ‘sent’ to domestic violence units but volunteered for fraud squads.)

That said, if you can genuinely, smilingly and pleasantly commit yourself to achieving that other person’s goal because doing so satisfies your own values, then I happily salute you. While jealous.

So in order to achieve someone else’s goal, you have to find a way to make it your own. Not by force, mind. The connection between values and goal has to be genuine, or it just won’t sit right and get done well, if at all.

Today, try this: See which of your values support – or even undermine – your personal and work goals.

You might find out something that you really need to know.

 

*You have to be British and over 40

51SrzOWl+nL__SX312_BO1,204,203,200_

48 years. Same tune, different words. Still true.

05 Tuesday Nov 2019

Posted by in Time Management, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on 48 years. Same tune, different words. Still true.

Tags

, , , , , ,

As an enthusiastic student of The Seven Habits® , and having shaken the hand of the great man himself, one of my pastimes has been to explore Stephen R. Covey’s earlier works and compare them to those with which many leaders and businesspeople will be more familiar.

I’d gamble most of you would be aware of the first Habit, ‘Be Proactive’, which uses the ‘you are the programmer’ computer metaphor to describe how individuals have control over how they live their lives – to a greater extent than they may otherwise have thought – because they have the ability to choose their response to what happens to them.

In 1971, I suggest, ‘proactivity’ the term was yet to be invented by Stephen Covey. But the idea of humans having ‘choice’ was not, and although the terminology has changed and become part of the business lexicon (like ‘journey’, which is now grossly over-used, so stop it), the concept remains valid.

In his work ‘How to Succeed with People’ (Deseret Books, 1971), a 2½ page chapter referred to how there is a gap between our knowledge about things, and our ability to act on that knowledge. He calls the chapter “Three Processes – Knowing, Choosing and Doing”.

He suggests that many of us fail in our efforts to be better despite the fact that we know what we should do, because there is a disconnect between that knowledge and our ability, or perhaps our willingness, to act on that knowledge. Put simply, our failures lie in how we choose, or fail to choose, to act.

Here’s a direct lift.

“Choosing means to pause and stand back for perspective, to think deeply, and then decide our own actions and reactions. Choosing means to accept responsibility for ourselves and our attitudes, to refuse to blame others or circumstances.

Choosing, then, means to commit ourselves strongly to that which we decide to do. This committing process often involves a real internal struggle, ultimately between competing motives or between conflicting concepts of ourselves.”

He goes on to suggest that making the better choice can break the binding power of habit, and it is habit that tends to keep us where we already are, and away from where we want to be. Moreover, habit teaches us ‘you’ve failed before, you’ll fail again’. As Covey also put it – ‘Private Defeats precede Public Defeats. Choice can over come the pull of habit.

Choice, therefore, creates an important link between the engine of knowing and the gearbox of drive.

The best leaders have the ability to choose well. Their better choices overcome the largesse and stasis created by habit, and habit is the enemy of change for the better. (While a great servant, habit is a poor master. Occasionally.)

Stephen Covey said that principles endure. The principle of choice – whether you use the expression ‘Knowing, Choosing, Doing’ or ‘Be Proactive’ – endures.

It’s fun finding that out by reading older works. Makes me feel all scholarly.