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THE THREE RESOLUTIONS

~ Your Personal Mission Controller – Self-Leadership That Works

THE THREE RESOLUTIONS

Tag Archives: self-knowledge

Who’s in YOUR mirror?

06 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence

≈ Comments Off on Who’s in YOUR mirror?

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self-analysis, self-knowledge

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” ― Patrick Rothfuss

How is your self-image? What do you say to yourself that builds you up – or tears you down? Are you one of those few people who recognises their faults but also knows their strengths, or do you focus on your flaws while forgetting just how great you are, or could be?

The stories we tell ourselves in moments of doubt do have a salient effect on our results. If we enter into some project ‘knowing’ we are going to fail, how can we ever know whether we would have succeeded if we’d gone into it with confidence? To the same degree, and I address the famed ‘Law of Attraction here, how do we know we are good enough if we keep succeeding by accident?

The truth may be that we don’t really ever get to know the truth about ourselves, and this is usually because so few of us ever conduct any self-analysis intended to make that discovery. Even if we do, the stories we are already telling ourselves influences the answers we now produce.

Can you ask somebody else? Yes, but it has to be someone you can trust, who chooses their words carefully and can be blunt without being rude, complimentary without fawning.

And for your part, you have to be willing to trust that what you hear is in some way accurate. Asking someone trustworthy what they think, and then reacting defensively won’t produce the improved you that you were looking to create.

Of course, there is also a continuum to ego – from incorrect self-doubt at the lower end, to selfish arrogance at the other, when someone believes their own publicity to the degree that they consider themselves above all principles. The stories we hear about overly-demanding celebrities demonstrates such an approach to self-awareness.

Keep it real. Know who you are. Act with character.

Apply The Three Resolutions.

 

If you wish, you can go HERE to see or download an exercise that can help you discover whether who you think you are is REALLY who you want you to be.

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To serve, know first what you need to know……

08 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Purpose and Service

≈ Comments Off on To serve, know first what you need to know……

Tags

self-knowledge, service

“To improve we must start from where we are, not from where we should be, or where someone else is, or even from where others think we are.” Stephen R Covey

If we are to provide service to others we should consider, first, what our talents, knowledge and skills are. What do we possess that we can utilise in the service of other people? Or to come at it from another direction, what do those people need, and do we have ‘that’?

Problems occasionally arise when someone expects us to volunteer for something with no understanding of our capabilities, then seem insulted, dismayed or even disgusted when we fail to volunteer because we know that we don’t have what is needed for the services sought. Their assumption that we have the required capacities is a paradigm that they have assumed, a paradigm that provides a warped perspective. And our attempts at explanation are deemed, through those paradigms, to be excuses and not valid reasons for not providing the desired results. Of course, the greater the hole that they are in, the greater the disdain for our reluctance to fill it for them.

If you have a skill and you wish to serve, do so. If you do not have the skill, don’t; and if you don’t have the desire to commit to the provision of a service then don’t. Reluctant provision of a service does nothing for any of the parties involved.

But wherever possible, explain politely why it is you won’t be providing that service. Try to explain it from their point of reference; “I don’t have the skills you need,” or “I’m sorry but I can’t commit to that because of my other (genuine) commitments.” If they can’t accept it, so be it – that’s their Circle of Concern, not yours.

So – know where you are so that you know what you can provide.

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