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Tag Archives: mindfulness

Why I ‘HATE’ Mindfulness

19 Saturday Mar 2016

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Why I ‘HATE’ Mindfulness

Tags

mindfulness, seven habits

Mindfulness is defined by that source of truth, Wikipedia, thus: “In this (Buddhist) context mindfulness is defined as moment-by-moment awareness of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, characterized mainly by “acceptance” – attention to thoughts and feelings without judging whether they are right or wrong. Mindfulness focuses the human brain on what is being sensed at each moment, instead of on its normal rumination on the past or on the future.”

In essence then, and to be extremely simplistic, mindfulness is chillin’ and living in the moment. It is escape from the influence of ‘things’ and ‘stuff’ that clutter our mind in the moment. It is removal of the spirit from having to deal with the interference of ‘life’. In that sense, it can be a valuable tool in dealing with said clutter.

But I find ‘Mindfulness’ to be exceptionally annoying for two reasons.

The first one is because at any one time, in WH Smith (a UK bookseller) on their Personal Development shelf you will find up to 26 different titles on the subject. I once joked that I was going to write a Mindfulness book but everyone else already had! Some of the titles are even quite amusing:

‘Mindfulness at Work’ – no doubt your employer likes you to NOT be working when he or she is paying you?

‘Mindfulness in a Minute’ – if you’re in that much of a hurry you can’t afford to switch off, surely?

‘Mindfulness for Dummies’ – least said about that…..

There is even a publishing sector creating COLOURING BOOKS, adding ‘Mindfulness’ to the cover and adding £6 to the price. Talk about the Emperor’s new Clothes!

But the things that really concern me about ‘Mindfulness’ is its almost cult-like promotion, to the degree that it is being touted as if it’s the answer to all ills and behavioral challenges.

Mindfulness has its place, without question. But it is an incomplete paradigm, dealing only with escape from, rather than dealing with life. Instead of letting people understand that seeking meaning and passion in what you are or are going to do with your life is desirable, it implies that the answer is, instead, removal from reality. Which is almost a nonsense because the minute you ‘wake up’ reality is still there, and always will be.

Many respected, esteemed and dare I say intellectually backed authors agree – the answer to stress and challenge is not removal from life, but discovery of meaning. Frankl, Covey, Kouzes, Sinek et al all repeat the same discovery, that of facilitators and researchers from time immemorial – that meaning and service will always outweigh challenge and defeat (di)stress.

I am honoured to be able to provide Seven Habits-style training to schools and I believe this, not Mindfulness, is a better solution. It covers training such as how we see things influences how we respond, so seeing differently is an answer. It covers proactivity, where we address how our responses to stimuli can be our choice, not just a reaction. It covers discovery of a life’s purpose/mission and plan, then how to make that happen. It covers interpersonal relationships, leadership, and self-renewal. It is a complete package. (But I freely accept that it may not be the only one.) Mindfulness has its place in that ‘suite’, but it is not a whole solution by any means.

So I ask people: it’s all very well having a screwdriver but that won’t undo the wheel-nuts. Mindfulness is one tool, with a valuable purpose. But wouldn’t you benefit more from a fuller toolbox, instead?

If you’re going to pay for training, make sure it isn’t narrowly focused on one thing – which is arguably nothing – when discovery of meaning, and a plan to realise that meaning, is a holistic solution.

David Palmer is a Facilitation Partner with The Learning and Development Academy, which provides leadership training to students, schools and charities while simultaneously earning income for Caritas Anchor House, a charity providing accommodation AND leadership training to the homeless in London (www.caritasanchorhouse.org.uk ). If you would like to know more about the training they provide for schools, charities and leadership teams, please contact David on 07531 177201.

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Do You Suffer The Time Manager’s Curse?

03 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in General, Time Management

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

"time management", mindfulness, Rhonda Byrne

As an advocate of time management from a life perspective or, to put it another way, as an advocate of principle centred personal life-leadership, I am always conscious of an overwhelming ‘need’ to be productive all the time. Which is self-defeating. I’ll tell you why.

It creates a paradox between two states. The first state is that of being present and involved in what you are doing now, which may be something you’ve planned for, even joyfully anticipated and couldn’t wait to start. The second state, that of the ‘productivity nut’, is that of being already aware of and eager to move towards the next thing you have planned or which you know you are going to do.

When I go shopping with the wife I am gravely conscious of how long it takes her to buy the same things we’ve bought before, those routine groceries and toiletries that never change, bought from the shop w always shop in (a time saver, you know). I find myself particularly aware of how long it’s taking when I know I have other things to do which are being delayed by her delaying.

But it is much WORSE when, being a ‘thinker’, a thought suddenly pops into my noggin, a thought of an unplanned to-do which is more important than shopping – and this is the point at which her methodical reviewing of the things we never, ever buy (and never will) starts to get my goat. “Come ON”, I’m thinking, “I’ve got something I need to do NOW” – even though it doesn’t really need to be ‘now’ at all. My focus is now on the future rather than the present, and the present is something from which escape is occasionally impossible – like when shopping, before you’ve collected all you need and haven’t yet paid for the goods.

Occasionally, just being in the moment is enough. That is what the current popularity of ‘Mindfulness’ is promoting. And as I recently tweeted, “I was thinking about writing a book on mindfulness until I realised EVERYBODY ALREADY HAS. It’s about being aware. That’ll be £10, please.”

Yes, I am bored and even dismayed by the glut of Mindfulness books on the shelves. Not that the concept has no value, just that everyone has a take on what is, essentially, a simple concept. One book is enough. The rest are profiteering.*

One book is enough to tell me to stop worrying about what I am doing now because of what I have to do next. Because ‘next’ can wait until the shopping is finished, and that is when I can re-prioritise.

Mindfulness. Time management ‘thinking’ for the woo-wah types, without the practical advice for managing time.

 

*Have you noticed  that Rhonda Byrne’s books (The Secret, The Power, The Toilet – okay, I made that one up) all seem to say the same thing  at a high cost, and have you also noticed how many other books now use the same artistry and format. They aren’t riding on her success at all, are they!! Just like the new cottage industry that is ‘Mindfulness’.

 

Blog Part

I realised I didn’t say a lot on Sunday, so just to let you know I am 2.25 lbs away from my ‘upper target’, and therefore well within reach of getting to my ‘lower’ weight target by the deadline. I also just ran my fastest 5km run and my longest ‘long run’ at 5.1 miles, proof that the running programme on this site has value.

To be specific about the diet I am using: I have two Slimfast milk shakes as breakfast and lunch. I (usually) have a fish and veg dinner, with a slice of toast (and one for my dog) and a Muller Light yoghurt for supper. This is supported by several cups of coffee and the odd biscuit when I have coffee with my mum. The dinners vary occasionally with a fish or ham salad, but the objective of this meal is not to exceed 800 calories if at all possible. Do I cheat – yes, I have Saturday off and do tend to indulge a little but having lost nearly 3 stone I find that I indulge a lot less than I used to because the willing (and the stomach space) is no longer there!

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