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Tag Archives: inner peace

Seven Habits – Day 9 – The Third Circle and Inner Peace

09 Thursday Jul 2020

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Uncategorized

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Circle of Influence, inner peace, proactivity, seven habits, stephen r covey

Yesterday we covered the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence, but there is a third Circle the Stephen Covey omitted in the 7 Habits but which he described in his 1994 book First Things First, so today we’ll briefly cover this one that, if accepted, might just change your view of how you do your work. Then we’ll finalise Habit 1 with another consideration and a recap of how Being Proactive can breed our success.

The third Circle lies within the Circle of Influence and Covey called it The Centre of Focus.

While the Circle of Influence was where we should focus our mental efforts in preference to the Circle of Concern, the Centre of Focus he described as containing ‘the things we are concerned about, that are within our ability to influence, that are aligned with our mission, and are timely.’ He went on, ‘when we set and achieve goals that are in our Centre of Focus, we maximise the use of our time and effort.’

So many people, and so many organisations (particularly public sector) dissipate and diversify and dilute their efforts by adopting new work, imposing new protocols and practices on their front line staff, so that what was once their primary aim becomes just another thing to get done. This is an example of where, instead of bearing down on their Centre of Focus, leaders try to expand their Circle of Concern in the mistaken belief it provides influence, to the point at which the Circle of Influence actually shrinks, and then throttles the Centre of Focus. (Ask any police officer dealing with another ‘partnership’ initiative. Well meant, but dilatory.)

Working in your Centre of Focus means being better at what you do, better service provision, and greater self-esteem.

The final example of proactivity is how we address mistakes. Making a mistake has consequences, we know that. The first time we make a mistake, we reap the consequences and we learn. That itself demonstrates a principle – we can choose and control what we do, but the consequences are dictated by principles outside of our control.

Covey suggested that mistakes are in our Circle of Concern – they are in the past, unchangeable. Once made and the lesson learned, our next choice is in our Circle of Influence – we choose better. Focusing on the error is reactive, focusing on the solution is proactive.

All in all, many things lie in the Circle of Influence, the ultimate locus of Proactivity and exercise of Habit 1. Making and keeping commitments, punctuality, goal-setting and acting with those goals in mind, taking responsibility for communication, defining your personal mission, thinking ‘we’ not ‘me’, personal renewal and personal integrity – everything succeeds or dies in the Circle of Influence.

If you are reactive and let emotions, moods and circumstances direct your reaction, you are not living – you are ‘being lived’. If you live a life based on your values and not your moods, you are truly going to discover that your life is effective. You will get the results you want, and you will achieve them consistently.

Dr Martin Seligman, director of the Positive Psychology Centre at the University of Pennsylvania, says three things control happiness – genetics, circumstances and the things you can control. But of the three, it is the latter – being in control – that has the most impact. In essence, he is saying you should spend as much time as possible in your Circle of Influence, ideally in your Centre of Focus. Charles R. Hobbs and Hyrum W. Smith said the same thing – that greater personal leadership and management are precursors to the higher levels of self-esteem that bring peace of mind.

Tomorrow we start to explore where you find what makes you happy.

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The Roadblocks to Inner Peace

28 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence

≈ Comments Off on The Roadblocks to Inner Peace

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conscience, courseg, inner peace, pride, principles, values

“Two of the most deadly roadblocks to peace are discouragement and pride.” Stephen r Covey/A. Roger Merrill.

In the book First Things First these two authors, along with Rebecca Merrill, opined that discouragement (literally lack of courage, as defined in that book) is a result of building life on an illusion rather than principle. It occurs most saliently when we are tired, angry, disappointed – in other words, when our focus on our mission is diluted by emotion. Instead of acting in accordance with our mission we excuse poor performance in the name of those emotional challenges, and ‘rational-lies’ our behaviour. The illusion is in the excuse.

Pride, in this context, stops us from behaving in accordance with our mission because Pride lies to us and tells us that our disciplined sacrifice may, in the moment, provide us with ‘less’ while providing someone else with ‘more’. It is a state of mind that in the moment seems to satisfy our ego (you now have something), while in the less obvious and longer term it also teaches us that someone, somewhere will have more than we have. By virtue of our pridefully thinking that we have the opportunity to obtain or do something ‘great’ and making a decision based on that pride, we accidentally accept that something else is greater, and in time we realise that we don’t have that. Peace is impossible when you spend your life looking for an illusory ‘better’.

Peace, inner peace, has been defined by Hyrum W. Smith as “having serenity, balance and harmony in your life through the appropriate control of events.” As events include every decision we make (and the consequences), it makes sense that one way to develop inner peace is through controlling events – by controlling each decision we make and by making sure that those decisions are based on compliance with our personal values and our mission statements. When we do that, inner peace is incubated because our conscience is not reminding us that we aren’t compliant with our chosen principles.

So to gain ‘inner peace’, make sure that you have identified your own Unifying Principles and that you make your decisions wholly with them in mind.

Act with courage – overcome the emotion of the moment and consider the greater emotion of the future peace. Act without pride – remember that what you gain from compliance with your principles is priceless. No-one has greater possession of personal value congruency. They either have it all, or they have none. You have it all – or you have none.

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