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THE THREE RESOLUTIONS

~ Your Personal Mission Controller – Self-Leadership That Works

THE THREE RESOLUTIONS

Tag Archives: fashion

Is your ‘look’ partially preventing people from seeing you?

26 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Is your ‘look’ partially preventing people from seeing you?

Tags

dress, fashion, follower, image, leadership

“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” Gilda Radner

The world is not allowed to stereotype any more. ‘Political Correctness’ in its most positive form is the title produced to prevent the hideous ‘isms’ that exist(ed) in society, but in its slightly over-reaching form its over-interpretation prevents human beings doing what human beings naturally do when presented with an image – make an assessment.

And fashion is a source of judgment, like it or not. I refer mainly to dress-fashion when I write that. The one thing fashion does is identify a person’s life choices, bank balance, chosen peer group, occasionally even their sexuality. Admittedly, in a ‘cats breathe, I breathe, therefore I am a cat’ sense, how a person dresses is not automatically proof of any of those things, but just like sharp teeth used to make Neanderthal Man think twice about an approach from in front, how you dress does send a message. And it is often a stereotype – suits for professionals (except on telly, tie off or else!), linen suits for academics, weird scarves for social worker ladies (and badly stuffed A5 diaries), shirt tails out on Friday night pub visits, pointy shoes for young sales reps, and lately some extremely odd haircuts for men (some too old for them) that MY dad would have thought old-fashioned.

The question I ask of you, dear reader, is – do you follow fashion? Do you in any way follow a ‘trend’ instead of conforming to a ‘norm’? Do you follow 1Direction because of their musical talent or ‘cos everyone else does? Do you watch Strictly because YOU dance, or so that you can talk about it in work tomorrow? Do you drive one-armed, wrist on the steering wheel because it looks ‘cool’? Do you watch Big Brother and then wear a tiny pork-pie hat to work because the winner did?

Do you say, ‘Like’ as a gap-word in conversation? Do you swear because Lee Evans did at the O2?

If so, you are a follower, not a leader.

In his book ‘Thinking Big’, author David Schwartz wrote a small piece about such things, which I quote here. He said,

“In theory, it’s pleasant to hear that people should look at a man’s intellect, not his clothes. But don’t be misled. People do evaluate you on the basis of your appearance. Your appearance is the first basis for evaluation other people have. And first impressions last.”

Another quote was directed specifically at young people, where Scwartz quoted someone else who stated, “You can usually spot a wrong kid just by the way he looks. Sure it’s unfair, but it’s a fact; people judge young people today by their appearance. And one they’ve tabbed a boy, it’s tough to change their minds about him, their attitude towards them. Look at your boy: look at him through your neighbour’s eyes, his teacher’s eyes. Could the way he looks, the clothes he wears, give them the wrong impression? Are you making sure he looks right, dresses right, everywhere he goes?”

Add speech, attitude, focus, deeds, social circle – and you start the list of what people judge you on.

You can ask society, even legislate society to speak differently, to say they must not judge. But tough – you’re making a law that people should overwrite human instincts. Some can, some can’t, many won’t. I like to think I’m at the ‘better’ end but the truth is when stereotyping there is a better than 50% chance you’re right. You know it’s true.

So choose better. You don’t have to blindly, slavishly follow anyone or anything. But me mindful that when you do, you are sending a message. Just make sure it’s the message you want to send.

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Putting YOU first – correctly.

28 Sunday Dec 2014

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence

≈ Comments Off on Putting YOU first – correctly.

Tags

character, fashion, values

“Intrinsic security doesn’t come from what other people think of us or how they treat us. It doesn’t come from our circumstances or our position. It comes from within —- from living a life of integrity in which our daily habits reflect our deepest values.” Stephen R Covey

Aye, there’s the rub. What other people think about us doesn’t matter – but when what they think isn’t great, it hurts.

They say that when we are 20-40, we care deeply about what people think about us. From 40-60, we don’t care what people think about us. And after 60, we realise they weren’t thinking about us at all.

We are all prone to living in accordance with what we see in the ‘social mirror’, where other people’s opinions matter more than our own. Where we dress in accordance with ‘fashion’ and seek to be ‘trendy’ – a word I cannot STAND, it smacks so much of blind compliance with someone else’s opinions, tastes or values. I always laugh when I see ‘anarchists’ all dressed the same and thinking the same way. When they get what they want – anarchy – they’ll hate each other.

Once you realise that what other people think is less important than your compliance with your own value system, beliefs and needs – in other words, when you now possess a higher sense of personal character – life takes on a new perspective. You start to become a leader, not a follower. Okay, others may not follow, but you’re not on TV wearing a suit but no tie; your hair is not covered in oil and brushed up like a 40’s ventriloquist’s puppet; your shoes aren’t longer than you are tall; and because you aren’t following the crowd, you get noticed.

Which is all we wanted all along, wasn’t it? Only now it’s for the right reasons.

Be yourself. Be a leader.

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Mini Blog 1 – Trends – cool, or what?

24 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence, Rants

≈ Comments Off on Mini Blog 1 – Trends – cool, or what?

Tags

fashion, resolution 2, second resolution, trend, trendy

Reading Facebook this morning I noticed someone use the word ‘trendy’, which I shall redefine as ‘descriptive of a fad’ which Wikipedia describes thus: “A fad is any form of behaviour that develops among a large population and is collectively followed enthusiastically for a period of time, generally as a result of the behaviour being perceived as popular by one’s peers or being deemed “cool” by social media.”

In other words, followership. And it is following of something for the worst possible reason – ‘everyone else is doing it’. I think of such people when I see iPhone 5 owners queuing for an iPhone 6 while their expensive contract still has a year to run. I see it in queues of girls screaming at One Direction because the publicity machine tells them they should, and they’re too young to see it. I see it with people who are in professional positions (lawyers in particular) who have boy band haircuts and shoes jutting 12 inches from the end of their feet. Not impressed.

Fashion is the science of appearance rather than true being – and I’d rather ‘be’ than ‘seem’. People who ‘seem’ frequently have no sense of identity so have to comply with the (faddish?) societal norm – and therefore to be judged by it as ‘in’ or ‘out’. (I sense irony there, but I shall go on.)

Meanwhile, here’s another contradiction – school kids complain about uniforms “’Cos it makes us all look the same and we are individuals.” Then, on non-uniform days they all turn up in their own clothes but still all looking exactly the same!

How can you get ahead by mere compliance with the status quo?

Resolution 2 promotes character. Character is not a fad, nor shall I call it trendy. But wouldn’t it be nice if it was?

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