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THE THREE RESOLUTIONS

~ Your Personal Mission Controller – Self-Leadership That Works

THE THREE RESOLUTIONS

Tag Archives: diet

The hardest 100% Pass Mark you’ll ever achieve.*

22 Wednesday Jan 2020

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence, Discipline, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on The hardest 100% Pass Mark you’ll ever achieve.*

Tags

climate change, Davos, diet, Donald Trump, Harry and Meghan, impeachment, jack canfield, principles

In his book ‘The Success Principles’, coach Jack Canfield wrote about a principle he called ‘99% is a Bitch, 100% is a Breeze’. The idea was that once you make a self-growth (denial or discipline) decision you act on it 100% of the time. This is because acting in accordance with your decision 100% is easier than doing so for 99% of the time for a simple reason that is both philosophical, and surprisingly logical.

With 100% there is no need to apply any further mental or emotional effort to the decision and its subsequent consequence. There is no reconsideration, doubt, angst or time wasted. With 99% you have to reconsider that decision every time you have to decide whether or not you should apply your standards/discipline/denial/values/principles ‘this time’.

For example, if I decide I will write 500 words a day (like Ernest Hemingway, apparently), then if I am taking the 100% route, that’s it– I will write 500 words a day, come what may. I’ll make sure I have my laptop with me, or I will write longhand on paper and transcribe it tomorrow, along with the 500 words for that day, too. If I go ‘99%’, then I have to decide, each day, if I am going to bother. That’s when the easy excuse will be ‘I have to go shopping, instead’. Or ‘I don’t have a pen’. Or ‘my laptop’s battery is a bit low and I’ll never make it’. Or ‘just one packet of crisps/pie/cigarette won’t hurt’.

(As I it here considering if/when/how/where to ride my bike I feel that pain.)

The same applies to not doing something (self-denial). If I decide that I will no longer eat chocolate eclairs, then application of the 100% principle means just that – never.

You can set your own rules for applying this principle. You can, if you wish, go ‘never’ – or you can include justified exceptions to ‘never’. You can decide not to eat chocolate eclairs ever again, or you can add an exception – but it must be a specific exception, and it must be observed. In the case of the eclairs you may elect to eat one on a new moon, your birthday, the 1st of the month, or whatever exclusionary rule suits you provided that it does not excuse you. That’s the material distinction. If you have a rule it must be specific and it must not undermine the original intention, nor can it allow for or provide excuses for non-compliance. 99% or less doesn’t cut it.

99% doesn’t work because it allows for mistakes, errors and, most of all, excuses. 100% not only disallows excuse or failure but it also demands creativity, imagination and discipline. If you ‘cannot’ execute on your disciplined objective for some external reason, the 100% rule demands of you that you find a way to overcome that temporary barrier/obstruction. Wayne Dyer, famed writer on metaphysics and life philosophies, overcame a ‘cannot go for a daily run’ when flying by running up and down an aircraft’s aisles. (BTW – not recommended!)

This concept, when fully applied 100% (see what I did there?), covers the appropriate application of both self-discipline AND self-denial. The only caveat I have to add here is this – don’t commit to 100% compliance until you are absolutely certain that you want to. This is because without that commitment you will make excuses the first time you are required to make decision whether to comply or not. And as soon as you make the decision not to comply that ‘one time’, you are already on the path to failure and guilt. It’s already 99%, or even less. And the next time that decision arises it will be even harder to make the right choice and the downward spiral speeds up. Momentum works both ways.

My final piece of advice? If you want to try the 100% Rule – only commit when you are truly ready. If necessary, prepare your environment (fridge and kitchen cupboards?) before you commit.

Then go for it.

 

(*An excerpt from The Three Resolutions book.)

 

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Get the F on with it.

01 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Discipline, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Get the F on with it.

Tags

achievment, diet, exercise, goals, new year Resolutions, success

You have, haven’t you? Even if nothing obvious, you have something in mind, don’t you? It IS January 1st, after all.

You have some idea of what you are going to ‘do differently’ for 2018. Some call them Resolutions (I can’t because of the title of the site), some call them Goals, NLP types call them Outcomes, but in the final analysis we are all talking about creating a new vision of how we are going to behave in order to get something we don’t have already.

Probably – and this is the painful part – the same things we promised ourselves last year and never achieved. Just like Yours Truly.

Why not start off by doing something at the end of this paragraph that you promised you’d do? If it is to start exercising, go for a fast-paced walk. If it’s to read a certain book,* pluck it from the shelf, blow off the dust and get to it. If you have to buy it, do it now. If it’s to cut back on sugary foods, go empty the cupboards of sugary foods. Duh!

Yes, now. Stop reading.

GET ON WITH IT. Time’s a-wasting. The year is flashing by already.  No more blog, just go.

(And off to the gym.)

 

*A certain book.

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I’m using a WIG. Or Four.

26 Sunday Nov 2017

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence, Discipline, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on I’m using a WIG. Or Four.

Tags

"time management", diet, focus, lifestyle, weight loss, WIGs

Hello. I’m back.

I went away because I was a bit tired of espousing personal development philosophy while manifestly failing to come up to my own standards. Furthermore, as a direct consequence of said lack of integrity and the physiology that resulted, I felt bloody terrible. I had (still have) a dodgy knee, but carrying 42 lbs of spare weight wasn’t helping. All that weight was on my front, which probably didn’t help with the back. I was constantly tired when I woke up in the morning, and I was motivated only by virtue of the fact that I would do things only if they were on my prioritised action list in my planner. I could simply avoid doing things by not putting them onto the list. I needed space.

I booked some time off from work, and set myself only four WIGs – wildly important goals – for the 18 days available.

  1. Stick to a diet that had worked in the past.
  2. Go to the gym on every free day (i.e. those when I did NOT have whole days dedicated to other events – which only amounted to 2, anyway).
  3. Finish the edit of Police Time Management so that I can sell it through my professional body’s website.
  4. Clear and organise my attic.

Might not seem much but I had various events, meetings and other commitments to fill my time. Those 4 were the specific outcomes or strategies I chose that would address many of the physical and mental blockages that were causing my malaise.

How did it went?

  1. The diet I chose is known as the Natural Hygiene Diet (look it up). In a nutshell, only have EITHER a protein OR a carbohydrate ‘main’ accompanied by vegetables or salad, and avoid (as far as is reasonable) heavy sauces and other taste bombs. Eat lightly, and use fruit as your treats. It’s Slimming World without the sins. I also ate only four slices of bread the whole time. My only variance was a bit of a treat after a day-long conference and drive home, where I indulged in a sandwich snack and some sweeties.
  2. I surprised myself, here. I went to the gym every day but the two days when I had all-day commitments, sat on a static cycle for 45 minutes (and pedalled!), pushed some weight and did some gut-stressing leg raises. I even took my kit to an overnight halt before the aforementioned conference and did it in the hotel gym.
  3. I finished the edit far quicker than I thought and it will soon be available for purchase either on its own or as a freebie on an investigator’s course.
  4. This was a challenge because of an unexpected obstacle known as ‘other people’. I found it easy to sort out ‘my’ stuff – chuck, charity, colleagues, keep. Other people – predominantly ‘review, keep, put back’. And their proclivity for finding other things to do which could be done better/at other times/not at all, but seemed to pop up just when I was climbing the attic ladder.

How did I feel? Much to my surprise, by day 12 I felt physically much fitter, lighter, and more disposed to movement. On the final, 18th day, I weighed myself and I had lost 11.15lbs.

The attic is tidier and, most important, I can get at anything I need at short notice. (And I found some stuff I’d been looking for, for months!)

Success!

But why? Why did it work now and not before?

Anthony Robbins often says that when we change, it is for one of two reasons – inspiration, or desperation. The 100-Day Challenge, which I manifestly failed to execute, was born of the former, while the success of this moment was clearly, unequivocally and sadly founded on the latter.

I have said before that the principles (of successful living) work if you work the principles. The principles I worked this last 3 weeks were:

  1. WIGS. I set only four Wildly Important Goals, around which any other things were organised.
  2. Time Management. I recognised that I was sitting around ‘saving time’ and not ‘using time’, so deciding to use the gym at a specific time every day (4pm) was better than leaving it to ‘IF I have time’.
  3. Sensible eating. I realised that when I have been stuffing my face it has never, ever been because I am hungry. It is because I am bored. And I realised that seconds after a meal was completed, the ‘event’ was over and my mind and body had already forgotten. So why go to that effort? Just eat sensibly and feel just as ‘forgetful’, but healthier!
  4. I learned to cook omelettes, scrambled eggs and poached eggs. Thanks, Delia. Masterchef beckons.

One sobering event. Early on, I was at the gym when I met a friend I have known over 20 years, and I mentioned I was on leave and intended to use it daily. On day 11 I met him same place (and time) and he said, “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

What does that say about me? What have I been communicating over the years, at least in terms of my physical state? Evidently, I have been saying, “Here I am again, this week’s fad. It won’t last.”

No more.

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‘Tis the Season to be Stupid, falalalala, lalalala.

11 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence

≈ Comments Off on ‘Tis the Season to be Stupid, falalalala, lalalala.

Tags

Christmas, diet, exercise, goals, New Year

“To change one’s life: 1. Start immediately. 2. Do it flamboyantly. 3. No exceptions.” ― William James

Funny, isn’t it? Right now, with 20 days to go, I am positive that millions of people are making their rules for 2017, applicable from Day 1. (Okay, maybe not so much the Chinese, who have a different New Year.) They plan to diet, exercise, rise early, watch less telly, etc. Or maybe that’s just me. Again. Every year since ever.

Honest intentions, I have no doubt.

Next funny thing. Having promised to eat better, exercise etc. etc., they (we)  rationalise that because this is the season of celebration (and the conventional wisdom for celebration is to eat and drink to a massively stupid – yes, stupid – degree),  the fact that we are definitely starting to live better on Jan 1st means we can justify doing the exact opposite.

And I am just as stupid as most of you, in that regard. (Not as stupid as those who think it’s okay to do it FROM New Year until Christmas. Love to those alcoholics who will give up booze for a month to prove they’re not.)

William James, the ‘father’ of psychology (not psychiatry, different science), sought to identify the proper prescription for a successful life. By successful, he spoke not of fame and fortune, but of greater personal effectiveness and integrity, where one lived in accordance with one’s values and therefore did not suffer the debilitation of depression, stress and guilt. His prescription was to advise people throw themselves into our primary objective – living life with the peace of knowing that what you are doing is good for you, good for others, and which serves a greater good. Even if that service only means becoming a role model for others.

Bear with. You have a conscience. It may be teeny weeny, or it may be a big bu66er. But you have one. When you fail to act in accordance with its sage advice, you feel a soupçon or a bucketful of guilt, depending upon its capacity and your willingness to listen to it. What you do with that knowledge is the difference between achieving James’ definition of success, and living a life of quiet desperation where you spend every evening wondering where the day went and why you haven’t achieved what was on your principled list of things-to-do.

How do I know? I know because that has been a tendency* in my life. A lot of my friends seem impressed with the amount of ‘stuff’ I do and the miscellaneous blobs of service for which I am known support their belief, but I know I could be a doing a whole lot better.

And with few exceptions, so do my readers.

Right now, those close to me privately and professionally are all preloading every conversation around the cake/biscuit barrel/sweet tin with ‘well, it is Christmas’, then stuffing their face knowing how daft they’re being. And (here’s the annoying part), after Christmas they’ll all go on a diet and bring their left-over cr4p into work. Thanks a bunch.

Starting today is key. It’s not easy, but it is the only truly sound route to getting what you want, and getting it soon enough to enjoy it.

My advice, therefore, is to follow William James’ advice. But be a little bit careful with the ‘flamboyantly’ bit. I think he meant do it ‘big time’, not dressed in a pink tutu, wearing a Stetson and covered in Braveheart make-up.

 

*Does ‘tendency’ mean absolute headlong throwing-yourself-into-dedicated-idiocy?

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Time to step up – and this time I mean ME.

10 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence, Discipline, Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Time to step up – and this time I mean ME.

Tags

Black Hole Focus, diet, discipline, Hankel, mastery, patience, productivity

I was reading Black Hole Focus by Dr Isaiah Hankel this week, having scanned it in bookshops and considered the content as ‘readable’. Truth is, it’s a bit Anthony Robbins so far, in that the ideas and methods reflect the Big Man’s methods and ideas. That’s not necessarily a negative criticism because if a method or philosophy works then any personal development book will have the same stuff in it. (Which is why I really must stop buying them….)

(BTW, in my defence there is a systematic structure to the philosophy of The Three Resolutions so it is a bit of a lot different.)

One of the concepts Hankel suggests we use is to ‘Name Your Purpose’, which resonates with me as a proponent of Personal Mission Statements. It’s about creating an identity for what you want to achieve, so that it becomes a little more real to you and to your subconscious.

As you know, the name I use for my long term mission statement is the Three Resolutions, but this week I began to seek an outcome which I also named, called the Mastery 55 Project.

In December I turn 55, and my poorly restrained human failings have led me to gain weight, a whole stone in 12 months. (Mainly over Christmas…..) I’ve also developed a less than frenetic work ethic, so even though I do all that is required of me there is a personal sense that I could be getting a lot more done, as mastery and expertise on the TV programme The West Wing is not necessarily a valuable life skill. And I am prone to impatience. (that sentence is quite long enough, dammit!)

Therefore, despite my preaching about character and integrity, I feel I am not walking my own talk. Hence the project, through which I intend to lose all my gained weight, recapture a higher level of physical fitness, increase my productivity, regain that sense of calm and just become ‘better’ by my 55th birthday.

I am tweeting through @mastery55project and a blog can be accessed through the above link, or here if you can’t go back that far. (See patience.)

The project has a its own name, but it does not replace my mission statement as much as it serves it in specific areas, particularly the self-discipline, First Resolution element.

We all, except the saints, veer off course occasionally. It’s how quickly we are willing to correct our course and get back on the right road.

And one method I am using to reinforce my intent is to review my own book, The Three Resolutions! The best way YOU can keep me honest is to read it and challenge me to live by it.

You are my accountability partners. Thank you.

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The voice louder than Donald Trump’s – and just as often ignored.

05 Sunday Jun 2016

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in Character and Competence

≈ Comments Off on The voice louder than Donald Trump’s – and just as often ignored.

Tags

character, conscience, diet, Donald Trump, values

“By polluting clear water with slime, you will never find good drinking water again.” Aeschylus

Little white lies. Secret vices. Professing one set of values while living another. Spending several years decrying the playing of political games by senior managers and then, on promotion, suddenly ‘seeing’ the truth and joining in instead of challenging those very behaviours that angered you yesterday.

These are examples of the polluting slime that destroys us from the inside. Like cancer is an organism that feeds on its host until the very source of its nutrition dies and kills the cancer that needed it, this psychological slime chips away at our ability to act in accordance with our stated beliefs and values until we are no longer the person we seek to become.

The sad part is that we let it happen. Instead of listening to our conscience – actively listening – we stamp on its voice in preference for the convenience and happiness of the moment, of the immediate gratification. We justify the pie, the cigarette, the alcohol, even the drugs in a ‘one time won’t hurt’ approach. And at that moment, our conscience shouts, “OY! Don’t be STUPID!” And we go ahead and do it anyway.

One amusing experience I had was a woman I worked with walking out of a shop with a refill for her e-cigarette in one hand, and 20 Benson and Hedges King Size in the other. Two years later she proudly told me she hadn’t smoked ‘for a week’. DUH!

It is simple. No, I rephrase that, based on experience. It is simple; knowing what to do when it needs to be done is intellectually simple. Doing the right thing in the moment is a lot harder.

One day last week I decided to start eating salads in work, and declined the kind offer of a chocolate muffin. The very next day, the muffin-pusher walked in to the office to find me tucking in to two – yes, two – Steak slices, bought in a hurried lunch-buying trip to the very same supermarket from which I’d bought the salad.

I did so feeling guilty, and I did so knowing that I was polluting my body with saturated fats – and my mind with the slime of excuse, convenience – and failure.

Teachers used to have a phrase they wrote on many a student’s report card, and one which we should all recall and reinforce in our lives when it comes to listening to our conscience, and living in accordance with what we believe, and what we promote. Three words.

MUST TRY HARDER.

Join me in doing that, this week.

Go on – learn more by reading this book.

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Crossing that Bridge

06 Sunday Apr 2014

Posted by threeresolutionsguy in General

≈ Comments Off on Crossing that Bridge

Tags

bridge, covey, diet, exercise, reality

I am currently summarising the Covey book ‘Marriage Family; Gospel and Insights’ for the forum on http://www.stephencovey.com, and in the opening chapter of his half of the book Stephen writes:

‘There is a common problem in only focusing on the ideal (i.e. in focusing on the dream and not the immediate reality – my summary DP). A false dichotomy is set up. A dichotomy means either/or. Its fault is that it doesn’t reflect the full reality. When people separate the abstract and the concrete, the ideal and the real, many end up frustrated. Although they may be temporarily ‘psyched’, even inspired, by a description of the ideal they come to see themselves falling terribly short of it; in their mind the distance between the ideal and their own performance is so great that they feel the ideal to be an unreachable goal for them, that in a fundamental way they are incapable of attaining it.’

So this shows us why some people ask the question – “is my ideal ‘so’ ideal that it is impossible to attain and, if so – why even try?”

I wonder if that is where I sit. I need to lose 4 stone. I read of athletes and housewives who have achieved this. I know it can be done, and (with all due respect to those who have achieved it) in some cases I am more intelligent than some successful dieters (at least on paper!).

So I set out to diet and exercise. Then an injury occurs, or we go out to a party meal, and suddenly it’s too hard a goal, or I can start again tomorrow, or I’m really not that round and I’m carrying it well (bad eyesight helps).

Is the answer to perhaps make an ‘ideal’ less so, working towards a lesser goal until it is achieved and then ‘starting tomorrow’ on the next ‘ideal’ step that is just a little bit closer to the ultimate ideal? This attitude or approach makes that bridge between real and ideal more of a plank or pontoon than the Golden Gate! Baby steps.

I am close to retiring and intend to spend just a little bit of time working towards my ideal before I look for a new paid role. When that space between jobs happens, I will be totally responsible for my own environment, and the working atmosphere with its propensity for convenience foods won’t be there as an excuse (reason) any more, and I won’t have the ‘tired after work’ excuse, either. If I start to create the ideal (sorry, best) home environment possible to serve my intention I will be more likely to achieve that goal – my first baby step towards the ultimate ideal, so to speak.

And maybe just being aware of the false dichotomy will better prepare me to address it?

Ultimately, there is an ideal, but reality sits within it. Life can get in the way, or life can be what we do on the way. The latter is the best approach!

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