A few amusing timesavers, today, just for fun. (Still a bit flu-ey.)

1. Christmas films. They always turn out fine in the end. Even in July.
2. The guy they arrest at 40 minutes into a US crime drama never, ever did it.
3. The man/woman witness they talk to briefly at the start of said drama, and never see again? If they did it in something else, they did it in this one.
4. If you had to wait the correct amount of time for a DNA result in NCIS you’d still be sat there watching it next week. If they aren’t busy.
5. Ask any copper how much fun it is to see Special Agent Gibbs have a full prosecution file in by the end of the shift that started with that murder.
6. In NCIS, they often phone their office and ask them to send an ambulance. WTF??? Phone ‘em yourself!
7. ‘Trending’. People follow trends, they seldom ‘lead’ them.
8. #Overusing #hashtags #that #no-one #will #ever #conduct #searches #on #is #annoying.
9. The time you spend touring shops to get better deals. How much petrol did you use??
10. How much time and data does it take to upload a picture of your dinner and the associated witty bon mot? Amusing nobody in the process.
11. How many hours did you spend watching I’m A Cooking Celebrity Skating on a Love Island in Chelsea Shore last week?
12. Pop Stars. If your song intro is long enough for an ‘ooooooohhhh’ and a ‘yeeaaah’ and a ‘mmmmmmmmm’ it’s to flipping long. Shorten it, or just shut up.
13. LinkedIn users. See that quote by Richard Branson that has 1 billion likes? I’ve bloody seen it and so has 1/6 of the population of the planet. Do NOT share again.
14. How fiddly is it to pick up your phone when in a rush, only to ring someone to say, “I’m just entering your building”?
15. Move along, no more to see here.