“There is no house like the house of belonging.” David Whyte
Who would you consider ‘owns you’ in the sense that they can call upon you, for any reason? And that when so called, you will respond appropriately and provide the necessary assistance, succour, or service?
Don’t get caught up on my use of the word ‘own’; I use it is only in the positive sense that we belong to others only when we choose to do so whether it be by active choice (associations, clubs), emotional attachment (family, friends) or by duty (work).
Nor should you object to the word if you don’t like any such relationship – because unless you choose to sever a relationship you are essentially choosing to remain in it and to ‘belong’ to the other parties you apparently dislike.
Given that premises – that we remain in a relationship either actively or by default – isn’t it worth considering that we could utilise our personal responsibility to improve rather than endure that relationship?
The Three Resolutions underpin the mind-sets and methodology of proactively and positively providing service, whether it be ‘happily’ or with reluctance!
The application of self-discipline/Self-denial invokes the attitude that we are prepared to put ourselves out or deny ourselves a potentially more self-serving alternative to the provision of that service.
The application of the Second Resolution means that we will apply Character and Competence to a task. We will put our best ‘self’ into a service and carry it out to the best of our technical ability.
And the Third Resolution – recognition that we have a noble purpose and will provide service – means that when the chosen task is undertaken we will feel that sense of high self-esteem that results from a job well done, and done for the best reason – service to another to whom we have chosen to ‘belong’.
Whether the job to be done is desired or not, applying the Three Resolutions means that both the served and the server will feel good about the transaction. And they may also be transformed for the better, too.
So – accept that you ‘belong’, and make the relationship work. Or politely but firmly walk away from it.