Lizard Lick Towing, a cake shop, Storage Wars. American ‘reality’ programmes, apparently.

The only ones where Rednecks argue and fight without swearing, where Italian bakers argue without swearing, and where random auction attenders with NY accents argue and threaten each other – without swearing.

THEN they have that ‘explanation of what went on’ bit where those involved, sat on chairs, yell at a microphone 3 feet away commentating. ‘Reality?’

So here’s the reality – they invent the incidents, then do what we did as kids and decide “You do that and then I’ll do this and then we’ll film it from there and then we’ll do that”.

Then they rehearse and film it.

And then they sell it to YOU as ‘reality’.

Stop watching it, for pity’s sake. Then hopefully it will all go away.